I’ve finally figured out exactly what the folks at #OccupyWallStreet want.

And it’s not free college of education for all.

That’s just something to entice all the comely co-eds to join the movement.

And it’s not the promise of erasing debt for all but 1 percent of the population.

That’s just a way to win the unquestioning devotion of Tyler Durden’s mayhem-minded space monkeys.

And it’s not about the promise of having all your meals catered by some some New York City’s finest restaurants.

That’s just a way to win over fans of Top Chef.

What they really want is to be P. Diddy.


I’m not joking.

For realz.

As you are probably well aware, Puffy likes to throw annual White Parties at his home in the Hamptons where all the guests are required to wear nothing but white clothes. Evidently, they’re quite popular.

Not to be outdone, the #OccupyWallStreet crowd is throwing a “white party” of their own today in Times Square and they apparently commissioned Holy City native Shepard Fairey to design the flyer for it. The whites-only party starts at 5 p.m.

Here’s what the #OccupationParty official flyer has to say:

This Saturday, October 15th, hundreds of cities across the country will host demonstrations in support of the #Occupy movement. In New York City, dozens of community groups, unions, student organizations and lots and lots of regular folk are taking to the streets in a mass protest that will culminate in Times Square at 5pm, then moving (by train party!) downtown.

You are invited to be a part of it. Come join the Occupation Party and participate in a stunning moment expressing hope and a new vision for the future – and showing our solidarity with the people who have already been occupying Wall Street for weeks.

Meet at the TKTS kiosk in the north section. From our street carnival in Times Sq. we will take the protest party to the trains and head downtown.

Together we are the tipping point.

The flyer then gets into what attendees need to wear, bring, and expect:

~ Bring ~
Yourself and Others Like You, Music, Noisemakers,
and useful gifts for the Wall St. occupiers.

~ Wear ~
White. As dramatic as possible. In many cultures dressing in white is a symbol of hope and transition. Think: white suits, dresses, face-paint, glitter, balloons, banners, be inspired.

~ The Moment ~
At sunset there will be a moment that will light the night (safe / legal and participatory.)

I don’t know about you, but the promise that “there will be a moment that will light the night” sounds kinda ominous to me, like something the Joker would do.

Fortunately, I got my invite way too late to make it.

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