I’ve called the Lowcountry home for the past eight years now. As such, I think I know my way around.

However, I was thumbing through the Post and Courier today, and they mentioned this nearby “coastal village” called Mt. Pleasant. Immediately, I was intrigued. A coastal village? So close to Charleston? And so I went looking for it.

Hours passed. Days even. Months. My search to find this elusive “coastal village” was so long and winding that somehow I ended up back here, the very first day that I first heard about this quaint little town.

I know, weird. But no weirder than a “coastal village” that apparently everybody in the Save Shem Creek knows the location of but no one else can seem to find.

I mean, there’s this place just over the Ravenel Bridge, you know — on the other side of the Cooper River — and it’s called Mt. Pleasant, but it sure as hell doesn’t look like a “coastal village.” In fact, I thought it was really just one big strip mall.

OK. I kid.

It didn’t look like only a strip mall. You could throw “traffic jam” in there if you like. Maybe even “sprawling, soul-sucking, white-flight suburb” if you’re so inclined. Or maybe even “Wando High School pupil mill.” But one thing it isn’t is a “coastal village.”

For Pete’s sake, Mt. Pleasant is the fifth largest town in South Carolina with a population of some 70,000. That’s like nearly the size of Memorial Stadium in Clemson on game day, minus all the ticket holders who got piss drunk tailgating and passed out pants down in the porta-potties. 

So if anybody knows where this “coastal town” of Mt. Pleasant is — the one that is on the cusp of changing their zoning to prevent high-density development — just let me know. I’d like to live there.