[image-1]Oh New Craig. In desperate need of a storyline besides “he’s a loser,” Craig gins one up by creating some drama with Whitney. I have a feeling he is getting coached by Kathryn on how to do this reality show thing. Since she’s pregnant and on bedrest, she can’t conduct her own drama so Craig is a convenient puppet.
As Cameran notes, he’s acting like a high school girl who wants to be in the middle of it all, which is pretty much how this Bravo TV thing works — and Kathryn knows how to work it. This is the girl who started out as a bit player but quickly became Southern Charm’s starring act. But Craig must be careful. When you start throwing molotov cocktails, one might just blow up in your face.
As the crew sits around drinking wine and relaxing in Shep’s happy place, Craig unleashes his pet theory on Whitney: you loved Kathryn and she “lived with you” (on reality shows five days of hooking up equals living together) and then she dumped you for Thomas and now you hate her.
Needless to say, this does not go over well. Whitney is gobsmacked by the accusation. Naomie visibly cringes. Cameran tells him he should be ashamed of himself (classic Southern snap). JD and Elizabeth look mortified. And Shep is disgusted at Craig for smearing his happy place with a bunch of crap. Landon, however, seems secretly amused at the whole thing.
Apparently, Craig is doing this to get back at Whitney for that time in Delaware when Whitney told Craig’s parents that Craig was partying hard every night.
After Whitney storms off, Cameran tries to broker an apology to help Craig keep the friendship intact. Craig’s non-apology simply rehashes his theory, which just makes Whitney madder.
Naomie tells Craig, who appears to have some tobacco tucked into his lower lip, how embarrassing his behavior was. Craig refuses to back down from the self-righteous belief that he was just doing the right thing to stand up for his friend Kathryn.
Molotov cocktail explodes in his face. Tobacky goes everywhere.
The next morning, Whitney wakes up pissed and decides to take his ball and go to his lair in LA. And what a lair it is. A white box made of glass and money.
But first, we must attend to some T-Rav/Baby Mama drama. T-Rav was planning to go to LA with Whitney and celebrate the pending childbirth of his new son, but Kathryn has discovered this nefarious plan and is doing what she can to prevent this from happening by getting into “a tizzy” — which is Southern for losing her shit.
T-Rav is easily manipulated (“better to keep Kathryn at peace than to deal with her wrath”) and cancels his plans, much to Kathryn’s delight. When he sends her a “bo-kay” of flowers, Kathryn laughs at his sentiment. Ooh, she’s a cold one.
The rest of the episode is Craig trying desperately to get back into the good graces of Cameran and Whitney. Shep helps him by trying to convince Whitney to let Craig come out to LA in T-Rav’s place: Grudges are for losers!
Craig meets with Kathryn and tells her that he’s done being her proxy and can’t take on the role of drama queen because it sucks and he’s not willing to lose friends over it.
Later, there’s more fun to be had at Kathryn’s when T-Rav drops by to put together the changing table. T-Rav can’t wriggle his way out of this confrontation no matter how hard he concentrates on putting that table together. She’s an expert on making this goober squirm.
Back in LA, Whitney creeps on his girlfriend Larissa, plying her with stir-fry, balloons, orchids, baths, German words, and a goofy love song (watch video below). She seems appropriately mortified, but it’s actually pretty sweet to see Whitney have feelings since we all pretty much think he’s a vampire or some other nefarious creature of the night.
Next week: Whitney relents and Craig heads to LA with Shep to party with hot chicks while Kathryn and Thomas head to the hospital to birth their baby.