Dearest Spoleto Festival USA,

We want you to know that we’re having an awesome time.

Loved Hay Fever, LEO, Dorantes, the Animals. Jack Hitt! Jeez, what a mind-blower. Feng Yi Ting? Who knew I’d like Chinese opera? I guess my sister owes me 20 bucks! Hahahaha! And Cécile — she knocked my socks off!

ANYWAY… I know it’s just days into this year’s festival, but I can’t help myself: do you guys take requests? I’m starting to think about who and what I’d love to see Spoleto USA bring to town next. At some point.

(I know your General Director, Nigel Redden, already has a tentative schedule for next year’s Spoleto in hand, so 2013 is probably off the table. And I’m cool with that. Really.)

Sadly, my first pass at this wish list included a great many artists who, as chance would have it, are dead. I mourn their loss. As you too must mourn them had you but known they would not be available for booking (even though I’m guessing that their agents wouldn’t mind collecting their cut of a tentative booking.) I mean, Marilyn Monroe appeared (in an ashtray) for at least one Monty Python sketch, didn’t she? But I digress.

So as not to presume too much on your time and resources, I have condensed this Wish List. (But I’ve got tons of ideas! Let’s sit down and discuss. I work a staggered schedule at the coffeeshop. I can fit you in!)