The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department between Oct. 7 and Oct. 12. No one described in this section has been found guilty, just unlucky.

Blotter o’ the week: A West Ashley driver reportedly fell asleep in the middle of her first attempt at the balance portion of the field sobriety test. She later told officers she had taken a large amount of allergy medication before getting behind the wheel. Something tells us it snot the allergies.

Police wrote a ticket for loud noise after hearing music blaring from the upstairs balcony of a downtown apartment. The resident told officers they were having a 21st birthday party for her friend, but she asked all partygoers to leave after officers showed up. Party poopers.

Police are experts at finding new and creative ways to give tickets to random folks, like one man sitting on a downtown sidewalk who was given a ticket after officers determined he was “creating an impediment to the ingress and egress of pedestrians.” Couldn’t you just say, “excuse me?”

An officer pulled over a car in West Ashley for going 20 mph under the speed limit, and soon discovered the cocaine straw in the driver’s purse despite her best efforts to conceal it. Her best efforts: unzipping the pocket containing the straw, and quickly zipping it back up when the officer asked her about it.

One man thought he and his ex should give their relationship another try, and after some fighting, found out the hard way that that’s never a good idea. He tried to break things off again, to which she responded by taking $2,000 out of his bank account, leaving him with 3 cents. And we thought our relationships were expensive.

Police were advised that a silver Electrolux dishwasher was stolen from a house under construction off Clements Ferry Road. No other information is available, we are just surprised about the dishwasher part is all.

Three purses were stolen from a downtown house party, two of which were Gucci, valued at $1,800 and $1,500. The third was valued at $450, which if you had asked us yesterday, we would have said was an outrageous price for a purse, but next to the Gucci, doesn’t seem so bad.

Two chainsaws were stolen from a downtown store during business hours. To be fair, we wouldn’t have tried to stop a thief wielding a chainsaw in each hand either.

A cheetah-print T-shirt and a pair of cheetah-print leggings were stolen from a West Ashley clothing store. The theft was captured on video, but the cat burglar moved with such lightning speed, they left before anyone saw.

Police approached a man sitting up against a wall along Meeting Street with a glass pipe in his mouth. The man reportedly admitted the pipe was for “reefer,” which the officer went on to describe in their report as a common street name for marijuana.

A brown pocketbook containing the owner’s Social Security card and birth certificate, as well as those of her four children, was stolen from her car parked downtown. By now, those kids have probably bought a ton of Minecoins, gas gift cards and dating website memberships.