Pretty Lights
Charleston Harbor Resort and Marina
Oct. 30

Want to get rich in the music business in 2010? Take a cue from Derek Vincent Smith.

Step One: Go it alone. Get on your computer and make a sound big enough to fill a room all by yourself.

Step Two: Give all your recordings away for free on the Internet.

Step Three: Turn your knob twiddling into a performance. Sell out the Pour House less than a year after your first-ever live show. Sell out the Music Farm on visit two. Come back to town a year later and sell out 2,500 tickets under a giant circus tent alongside Charleston Harbor.

Get a huge array of speakers and a Jumbo-tron that syncs your turntable/laptop set-up’s façade with the screen behind you.

Hire badass drummer Adam Deitch, who used to play with Average White Band and is the driving force behind funk powerhouse Lettuce.

Live up to your name with a huge production of LEDs, colored spot beams, and screen-saver visuals.

Feed about half the CofC undergrad student body whatever substance the kids are doing these days and give them about a million glow sticks and laser beams to play with.

Have most of the girls wear almost nothing. Encourage them to put their hands in the air, early and often. Put both of your own hands in the air while the music inexplicably changes tempo or key on its own.

Play dub-step-down-beat-wobbly-thump, and coordinate the big hits with explosions of light. Watch the kids scream in adoration.

Make the feeling-very-old-in-this-crowd reviewer standing in the back smile by dropping a slowed down, remixed take on Biggie’s “Juicy” for your encore.

Move to the next town and repeat.