I haven’t read another person’s blog in almost three weeks.

The reasons are many: family in town, trips to the beach, trying to find a parking space downtown during Spoleto, and so on. Quite honestly, I also just wanted to unplug from the matrix for a little while and deal in things visceral as opposed to virtual.

However, a friend of mine sent me a link to a newish blog that’s got me revved up and ready to read again. It includes so many of my favorite things: humor, politics, arguing, Charleston, and making fun of people at every opportunity.

The Charleston Tour Guide Bitch Blog: (www.charlestontourguidebitchblog.blogspot.com) It’s only in its third month of existence, but this one is already rocketing to the top of my favorite reads. Mark Jones is a tour guide with Palmetto Carriage and Bulldog Walking Tours, and the author of Wicked Charleston: The Dark Side of the Holy City, and, Wicked Charleston 2: Prostitutes, Politics & Prohibition, so he knows a thing or two about the city and our fannypack-toting, Hyman’s sticker-wearing out-of-towners.

In addition to bitching about tourists, newlyweds, and the occasional illegal alien rant, Jones has set up his site to be a resource for Charleston tour guides to bitch about other tour guides and to share stories and information.

“I’m tired of listening to BAD INFORMATION given out by tour guides — carriage drivers in particular,” he writes. “I don’t like being put in the same category as hungover, sloppily-dressed, high-on-whatever-substance tour guides,” posts Jones. He adds a caveat, though: “Who you do the horizontial (sic) bop with within the tourism industry is your problem. So don’t come here to bitch that “somebody took my boyfriend/girlfriend/both.’ Who cares?”

Well, I’d kinda like to read that if someone wanted to post it, Mark. After all, I’m all out of juicy TV shows until fall, and Brangelina’s had the baby, so bring on the dish!

He does tell some good stories, though. Like the one about the wedding party he picked up at the Charleston Wedding Chapel. The bride, groom, best man, and maid of honor were all decked out in their finest Harley Davidson leather and denim and were on their way back to the Mills House to “get naked.” Ah, nothing says, “I want to spend my life with you and only you” like a greasy post-nuptials romp with your biker buddies.

Then there’s the story of the beautiful Latina woman who, while admiring his horse, confided that her “first lover was a horse.” Why isn’t that lady blogging!? On second thought, um, ew.

I do wish Mark would post more frequently. But in the meantime, I’d love to see more sites like Mark’s if they’re out there. Any servers/bartenders blogging? How about other tour guides or Italian Ice girls? If so, send ’em my way. Now that we’re entering the molten months of summer, and Lost isn’t on for another three months, I needs my fix from somewhere, people…

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