This week, Tiger Woods attempts to make a professional, if not a public relations, comeback following last year’s Thanksgiving Day Good-Clean-and-Wholesome Image Massacre.
And I’ll be pulling for him … to make a run for the lead at the Masters and then lose it all on the 18th hole, preferably to Phil Mickelson.
Now, this isn’t out of meanness or a sense of self-righteous finger-waggery. Nope. I just want a good story, a golf tourney ender for the ages. Truth be told, I like Phil and I like Tiger. I know that’s like some sort of physics-defying, space-time-continuum-destroying thing or something, but it’s true.
Speaking of comebacks, it looks like the Confederacy is making one these days.
First, you have the guys in the SCV proposing a Confederate monument at Patriots Point.
Then there’s Kirk Lyons, of the Southern Legal Resource Center and one of the men at the center of the split between the historical wing of the SCV and the new, more activist wing of the SCV, proposing that “Confederate Southern American” be added to the U.S. Census.
And finally, you have the Virgina Gov. Bob McDonnell‘s proclamation that April is Confederate History Month, a proclamation followed somewhat quickly by an apology. Seems the good gov forgot to mention that whole slavery thing.
Kinda like Tiger forget to mention to the cops that he was apparently hopped up on Ambien and Vicodin when questioned after his Thanksgiving Day wreck. Then again, Woods kinda had an excuse to stay quiet unlike McDonnell, who chose to make a statement — and win some brownie points with the surging neoconfederacy crowd.
See, I’d be willing to bet dollars to donuts that McDonnell left out any reference to slavery on purpose, but it was only after he started receiving some heat that he realized that the political thing to do was to apologize for his, um, error.
And no, you can’t have your balls back. And neither can you, Tiger.