As you’ve probably heard, the powers that be at the University of South Carolina have given Stephen Garcia the boot. Why? According to ESPN, the extracurricular-mishap prone QB may have tested positive for alcohol and marijuana. Oh well.

But exactly what will Garcia do next? I have a couple of theories:

1. He’ll form the #OccupyFivePoints movement and protest flat beer and breathalizers.

2. He’ll give freshman defensive end Jadeveon Clowney his ID.

3. He’ll apply for the open slot on the Jackass crew.

4. He’ll become a drug mule.

5. He’ll partner with Thomas Ravenel for a revival of Neil Simon’s The Odd Couple at this year’s Spoleto.

6. He’ll join AAA.

Anyhow, those are mine. What are yours?


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