Scarred from battle? Your humors giving you trouble? Still recovering from the plague? Don’t treat your aches and pains with wormwood and leaches. There’s no reason to when the walled Kingdom of Charleston is filled with healthcare options. And even if you’re feeling tip-top and ready to launch a thousand ships, it’s always good to get that yearly physical. Now go schedule an appointment, so you can get back to fighting fiends.

Art Institute of Charleston
24 N. Market St.
(843) 727-3500

For you artsy princes and princesses, if lily root and toad’s wart aren’t helping your painting-induced wrist pain, good news: while the Art Institute doesn’t have a health clinic on campus for students, the Student Affairs department, led by Robert Seay, offers information about student medical insurance, medical and dental providers, annual flu clinics, and almost anything you can think of. Seay also works to make sure that students without insurance know their potential options. “We also work very closely with local medical providers for students, especially for those from out of town, to find a health provider,” Seay says.

College of Charleston
Office of Student Health Services
181 Calhoun St.
(843) 953-5520

Make an appointment with the docs at CofC by either scheduling it in-person, calling the clinic, or setting up your visit online with your student MyCharleston account. Health Services is open from the first cock’s crow (that’s 8:30 a.m.) until 5 p.m., so sick elves in desperate need of some care should call first thing in the morning to schedule a same-day appointment. Visits to health services are free since students pay a required health fee. That means anytime you are hurt in battle, you can venture to the kingdom of health as many times as you need without parting with your gold coins. However, the fee doesn’t cover some goods and services, from STI testing to X-rays.

The Citadel
Mary Bennett Murray Infirmary
171 Moultrie St.
(843) 953-6847

Even the bravest combatants need time to recuperate. Cadets, knobs, and warriors alike can head to the infirmary for free visits — a mandatory health fee covers professional medical services, although there may be a fee for medications, lab tests, EKGs, X-rays, etc. And don’t worry about setting up an appointment. Battered knights can walk in to get patched up during sick call hours from 6:30-11:00 a.m. and then again 12:30-2:30p.m. But if you fall ill outside of those hours, there is a walk-in clinic run by nurses that is also open during the school year.

1106 B St. Andrews Blvd.
(843) 225-3010

Ladies, we know you’re a warrior at heart, not a fair maiden waiting to be saved. Take control of your sexual health and head to Dazz if you’re having a scare — you know which kind we mean. Dazz offers free pregnancy testing, free testing for chlamydia and gonorrhea, and limited ultrasounds. And remember to be safe not just during battle, but in every aspect of your life (guys, that advice goes for you too.)

Doctors Care
Various locations

It actually happened — you fell out of your lofted bunk in your freshman chambers. We wish we could say it happens to everyone, but we can’t lie to you. What we can do is tell you where to go: Doctors Care. Doctors Care helps out with minor injuries, sudden aches or pains, and minor illnesses. The healers also perform annual physicals, manage chronic conditions, and offer lab work as well as X-rays on-site.

CVS Minute Clinic
59 George St.
(866) 389-2727

If you’re in a hurry to get back out on the field to conquer classes and the ever so difficult keg stand during merrymakings, then the Minute Clinic might be the best choice for you. Their services are available seven days a week including weekends and evenings, so if you leave an ultimate frisbee game in Marion Square a little worse for wear then you can get fixed up right away. It’s not necessary to make an appointment — just show up with your bruises.

Nason Medical Center
Various locations

In the Kingdom of Charleston, you will find, not one, not two, but five mystical medical centers called Nason. Emergency room care can steal a pretty penny or two from the pockets of the poor, but at Nason patients pay a fraction of that cost. Appointments are never required, and the center has extended hours.

Planned Parenthood
200 Rutledge Ave.
(843) 628-4380

Empresses and emperors who aren’t ready to have an heir, make your way to Planned Parenthood for contraception. If things don’t go as planned in the bedroom quarters, be sure to pick up the emergency contraceptive Plan B as soon as possible. Planned Parenthood offers HIV and STD testing, as well as treatment and vaccinations, abortion referrals, men’s healthcare, pregnancy testing, general healthcare, and other services for LGBT individuals.

Shifa Clinic
1092 Johnnie Dodds Blvd., Ste. 108
(843) 352-4580.

Maybe you don’t have insurance because you’re an elf who likes to live on the edge, but every now and then you’re bound to run into trouble. If that’s the case, don’t fret. Shifa is a non-profit, tax exempt clinic established by The Islamic Circle of North America Relief that offers its services free of charge. Schedule an appointment when you’re feeling ill after eating under-cooked dragon meat, since walk-ins are not available. Shifa encourages patients to leave donations.