- Megan Jean and Byrne Klay think the big city offers their best chance of survival when the undead arrive.
Megan Jean and the KFB, Charleston’s favorite gypsy-Americana act, announced yesterday that they will be packing up and moving to Atlanta in the fall. The reason, they say, is zombies.
Frontwoman Megan Jean Klay, an avid reader of The Zombie Survival Guide, World War Z, and The Walking Dead, sent out a press release explaining the rationale:
1. Coastal Contamination: The zombie virus will most like come from overseas, likely the result of unscrupulous genetic experiments. With the new super-shipping containers on the horizon, the Lowcountry will be facing an onslaught of infected from all over the world.
2. Roads: As you well know, the main roads in and out of Charleston (Highway 17 and I-26) will be immediately and completely blocked off by the National Guard in an attempt to quarantine the virus, making egress impossible. The swamps will be the only chance of survival.
3. Mosquitoes: This is a highly debated topic, whether or not mosquitoes would act as hosts of the zombie virus. We will not take our chances.
4. Terrain: A swamp would be the worst possible situation to find oneself in, in an undead world scenario. Unless one possesses in intimate knowledge of said terrain, a refuge here would prove to be a death sentence. Lack of fresh water, splashing noises while walking, submerged zombies, and unstable muddy terrain are all key factors to consider when searching out a possible refuge.
5. Fresh Water: This will be the biggest threat to all survivors in the months after initial outbreak. With only a handful of fresh water sources and long dry periods in between rain falls, we estimate that the majority of casualties will come from thirst.
6. Food: The main source of food will be scavenged from houses and stores, or marine life. As oysters and shrimp are scavengers themselves, it is not clear whether or not they would be able to transmit the virus from feasting on undead corpses on the ocean floor. The only reliable sources of food will be deer, boar, and birds, all which require bullets (whose sound would attract zombies), and arrows, which will be in short supply.
Seriously, though, the KFB has been a road act for years now, with North Charleston acting as a launching pad for their epic, years-long tours. In a phone interview last week, Klay said relocating was a tough decision. “I love Charleston; I love it more than anything,” she said. “And literally the only reason why we’re leaving is because we pass through Atlanta 10 times as much as we pass through Charleston. I have to pick up merch and not got 300 miles out to the coast anymore.”
Or, as she puts it at the end of the press release:
The only thing that could possibly chase us away from Charleston is a zombie horde. We developed our sound here and found our calling. For that, we will always carry the Lowcountry in our hearts. We will come back as frequently as you’ll have us, but for now, we’re staying mobile. Godspeed, Charleston, and may you forever be the jewel of the South.