The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

On Jan. 5, cops found a 12-gauge shotgun that had been discarded underneath a Line Street house. Now, how is that weapon going to take part in a gangland drug war from under there?

Police arrested a man on Jan. 3 who had locked himself into a bathroom at a Cannon Street business, claiming three men were after him for $140 in drug money they had fronted him. After police discovered there was a warrant out for his arrest, they took him to jail, where he was locked into a cell that has a bathroom. Ironic.

Cop Misspelled Word O’The Week: “pourch”

Jilted Fiancé Phone Message O’The Week:“If you want me out of your life, admit that you lied to me about the five guys you slept with.” Later, the man called again, stating he still wanted to marry his beloved.

Someone stole three $1,000 barber’s chairs out of a Sam Ritt barber shop over the New Year’s holiday. Oops, we mean the “non-denominational end of the year, beginning of another year, time off from work period.”

On Jan. 4, a woman, speaking with what may have been a Middle Eastern accent, called a local television news studio, saying, “I need to talk to someone about Hanahan. The naval brig has been warned, and now you have been warned. Jose Padilla must be freed in 4 hours.” The next day, the U.S. Supreme Court allowed the supposed “dirty bomber” to be transferred to a civilian facility and court in Miami. Goddamn activist judges!

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