The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

On Feb. 26, the security manager of a downtown luxury hotel called police to report that a small bag of what resembled cocaine had been found on the floor of the hotel’s restaurant. That’ll teach the bus boys for not paying attention.

After a heated argument over the phone on Feb. 24, a girl’s boyfriend came to her job at a Savannah Highway fast food restaurant. He entered the place in a rage and strode to the back of the restaurant, where he slapped his lady. The girl ran to call police, but before she could, her Romeo punched her five times in the face and knocked her to the ground. The couple had been living together for six months before this incident. Ah, the honeymoon period.

Five girls attacked a young, pregnant girl as she walked down Ashley Avenue on Feb. 24 for having once said, “Fuck the West Side.” The quintet punched the young mother-to-be in the face, knocked her to the ground, kicked her in the stomach, and pulled out her weave. Good lord, what was their gang’s nickname, Hell’s Midwives?

Cops pulled over a car on Rutledge Avenue on Feb. 26 for failing to use its turn signal. After running the tags, the officer discovered that the car was stolen. While patting down a passenger, one cop noticed a baggie of pot in his pocket. “Those are my drugs!” the passenger said excitedly. “There’s a gun under the seat.” In the baggie, cops found 17 grams of cocaine, four blunts, and one tab of ecstasy. Apparently, someone had already used up the sodium pentathol.

Blotter Misspellings O’ The Week:

“boistrious,” “lound,” “alcholic,” and “uncoperative.” Looks like somebody lyed about their schoolin’ on their job applicashun to the po-lease deparmunt.

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