If Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” really is “YOU” — that is, anyone who uses the internet to find personal fulfillment and influence politics — then why wasn’t Mark Foley on the cover?
But Time isn’t serious. They’re desperate. Like nearly every other “mainstream media” outlet, they’re losing customers faster than a Taco Bell with brown lettuce. And for largely the same reason: Everyone knows they’re serving up crap.
There were plenty of serious nominees for 2006’s poster boy, but like the New York Times and our own State paper, the MSM simply lack the guts or integrity to tell the unpleasant truth.
Remember, for example, when a handful of cartoons of Mohammed were generating headlines around the world? The courageous “news” outlets above refused to even print them. They were afraid of how Islamist whackjobs might respond — a concern the MSM didn’t show when they were running photos of a painting of the Virgin Mary made of elephant dung.
Alas, the 2006 flavor of the year wasn’t “Catholic.” It was “crazy.”
If ever there was a year when being totally and utterly out of your mind paid off big-time (think “the guy who hired Howie Mandel”), 2006 was it. The crazier you were, the more you won!
What other year would a former college professor have to apologize for accurately quoting a 14th century scholar on Islam? But there was Pope Benedict, sucking up to a bunch of loony Islamists as they marched in the streets shouting “Islam is a religion of peace! And if you don’t agree, we’ll kill you!”
Who is taking these Islamist idiots seriously? Oh, wait — that would be “us.” They threatened to cut off the Pope’s head over a footnote and we furrowed our collective brow and said “Hmmm, you have a point. Maybe he should apologize. Could you please stop shooting nuns now?”
Kooks: 1, western academic standards: 0.
Then came the Baker-Hamilton Commission on Iraq. James Baker is the walking embodiment of what the MSM likes to call “sober-mindedness.” He’s a realist, a pragmatist, a levelheaded member of the Establishment.
Oh, and he wants America to enter serious negotiations with Iran — a nation governed entirely by fruitcakes.
The president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, just hosted a conference of people who believe the Holocaust never happened. Unfortunately, many of them — including President Ahmad-Whack-I-Job — want to make up for Nazi Germany’s lack of anti-Semitic effort.
Whack-I-Job also thinks Hezbollah terrorists (hundreds of murdered Americans and counting) deserve an extra $100 million in Iranian money in 2007, that people should be decapitated for writing books he doesn’t like, and that a magical imam is going to come down out of the sky and impose Sharia law on the world.
And did I mention that — thanks to the outstanding work of the United Nations — this genius has a nuclear weapons program, too?
But James Baker, along with the editorial staff of nearly every major newspaper — wants us to negotiate with him. About what, Jim? What time we’ll be delivering the boxcars of Jews so he’ll know when to have the ovens ready?
Islamist nutburgers: 2, reason and rationality: 0.
It wasn’t just Muslim loonies enjoying the Year Of Living Delusionally. Universities from New Hampshire to Utah have tax-funded professors teaching that 9/11 was an inside job by Halliburton, Don Rumsfeld or, even worse, Wal-Mart. They were neither laughed out of their classrooms nor escorted off campus by security guards. Instead, they were called “scholars.” You know — like Clemson football players?
Tom Cruise? Total loon. MI3: $134 million.
Mel Gibson? Drunken anti-Semite whose delusions involve Zionist conspiracies and cops called “sugar tits.” His movie Apocalypto grossed $30 million in 13 days.
Miss USA Tara Connor isn’t crazy. She was just acting that way when she was drinking, (allegedly) doing coke, and tongue-kissing the 16-year-old Miss Teen USA in a bar — all before she turned 21.
But she does have a crazy person to thank for keeping her job — the “crazy like a fox” king of self-promotion, Donald Trump. When Rosie O’Donnell insulted him for not firing Ms. Connor, The Donald’s reaction was absolutely bizarre. He called Rosie a “fat slob,” an “animal,” “ugly,” and “pig face.” This from a man who looks like he’s being eaten alive by his own hairpiece.
But what happened? The Donald’s stock immediately went up — as did Rosie’s. She’s on TV screaming that evangelicals are just as dangerous as Al Qaeda, he’s talking nonsense about suing her fat ass and stealing her girlfriend, and they both finished the year as America’s media sweethearts.
2006: You didn’t have to be crazy, but it helped. Stay cool. Support City Paper. City Paper has been bringing the best news, food, arts, music and event coverage to the Holy City since 1997. Support our continued efforts to highlight the best of Charleston with a one-time donation or become a member of the City Paper Club.
Stay cool. Support City Paper.
City Paper has been bringing the best news, food, arts, music and event coverage to the Holy City since 1997. Support our continued efforts to highlight the best of Charleston with a one-time donation or become a member of the City Paper Club.