Hanging with some of my male compadres at a local cantina a few weeks ago, the group’s conversation turned toward a boss chick we all mutually know and like. “Yeah, she’s cool, but she gets around,” one of them spouted, clearly speaking before thinking. The rest of the guys all quickly turned toward me, awaiting my inevitable reaction. “And what the hell does that matter?” I countered.
Let me preface this by saying that the boys I was sitting with are certainly no saints themselves. I’ve witnessed many successful late night pick-ups and been privy to their debauched recollections, generally hearing more dirty specifics than I care to know. And yes, I’m no Mother Theresa, but not only have I never reached their heights of male whoredom, I’ve never once thought less of them or made any sort of critical comment … that is, until now.
It’s the infamous double standard that I’m sadly confident will never die. A man who is successful with women is just that — successful. But a woman who is successful with men? Well, she’s a just a slut.
Take me, for example. A while ago on my morning radio show, I explained that I wasn’t interested in focusing on a relationship at that moment and was perfectly happy keeping it casual, to which my cohost automatically responded with, “So you’re just going to be a big whore?”
Needless to say, the comment was like a piece of fecal matter sliding out of his mouth and falling into my mug of mocha latte. More so than women, men always make the claim that they’re not ready for a relationship and no one bats an eye. But when an attractive young lady says the same thing, she’s not considered independent or strong — she must be a loose skank with a nasty case of panty crickets. And what’s even more frustrating is that it’s generally men who seem to make that assumption, all the while devising a cunning plan to bed her, because, after all, she must be “easy.”
Historically, I can understand the basis of these ideas. Women were expected to preserve their virginity until they were married off to a man pre-approved by their parents, and at that point were considered to be his property. Though some things never seem to change in some scary areas of the upstate, for the most part gender conventions became altered in the 20th century with the realization of equal rights and the ’60s sexual revolution. Unfortunately, the idea of a well-heeled woman is so ingrained into our psyche that if a girl claims to enjoy and partake in sexual activity, the majority of society is going to consider her a nympho and a floozy.
Sure, it’s not as bad as it used to be, but flippant remarks like the one my platonic male friend made remind me of how much further we have to go. Ladies, maybe it’s time to celebrate our little indiscretions more openly. Instead of secretly gossiping about each other for spreading leg, we should be high-fiving and congratulating our sisters on a job well done, just like the fellas. If we set an example for the male population, it’s just a matter of time until they follow our lead. That is, if they ever want to get in our pants again.
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