BLOTTER O’ the Week:

An officer responded to a 911 hang-up at a downtown restaurant to find a man on
the street with a bloody face. The “very intoxicated but relatively coherent” man told police that he was refused service and was randomly beaten up. The story from the restaurant manager: The man had been in a couple of weeks ago and punched a patron. When he came back this time and was refused service, he threw a fit, throwing bags of chips everywhere and smashing the tip jar. He started throwing punches at employees who were trying to wrangle him and missed, then fell onto the broken tip jar and hit his head on the floor. Ah, you can’t beat dinner theatre. How about some medieval costumes and a couple of giant turkey legs next time?

Two out-of-uniform cops were chatting downtown when a man walked by one of their cop cars parked nearby and knocked off the passenger side mirror. The apparently inebriated man told the cops that he was angry about a romantic problem. Nice try, but we think he really meant, “Damn, didn’t see you there.”

Nickname O’ the Week:

A cop was backing out of a parking space at a convenience store when he hit the store sign and caused $2,000 worth of damage to the police car. CSI was called to the scene to take pictures, but we think this one’s pretty simple. The cop can’t drive, case closed.

A couple was caught stealing five bottles of cologne, a pregnancy test, and some Oreo cookies from a local super store. I think we know the results of that test.
Two drunk guys, obviously bored with beer pong and foosball, were charged with disorderly conduct for climbing on the construction scaffolding on the side of a church. No word on if they got their hands on the communion wine.

Worst Drug Hiding Spot O’
the Week (Heck, Maybe Worst Ever):

Under a cop car

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty.

This is not a court of law.

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