In 2006, then-School Board member Sandi Engleman suggested Superintendent Maria Goodloe-Johnson had been on “CPT.” Critics jumped on this, saying it was a reference to “Colored People’s Time,” but the City Paper offered up a few alternative definitions. With School Board Vice Chairwoman Nancy Cook now facing her own critics for a radio interview where she mentioned possibly sterilizing unfit mothers, we thought we’d pull a few suggested fixes from our collective hat.

What she said: “We’re not paying for another baby, maybe one baby, but after that, we’re taking the baby. And maybe you get sterilized. I know that sounds kind of extreme and radical…”

• Excuse #1: Hers

“Clearly, to suggest that I would be for such a radical idea would be against my morals, beliefs, and life work.”

• Excuse #2: A Matter of Punctuation

“… And maybe you get sterilized. I — No. That sounds kinds of extreme and radical…”

• Excuse #3: Means to an End

“I didn’t say we’d make them sterile, only that they might get sterilized. That could happen naturally or by accident.”

• Excuse #4: Misspoke

“Sterilized?! I meant to say vaccinated. My goodness!” Note: Meek shock is key.

• Excuse #5: Generational Gap

“That’s not the word the kids were using on ‘Pimp My Ride’? You know, ‘That car’s so hot, it’s sterile.’ No? My bad, dog.”

• Excuse #6: Sybil

“Who said that? I didn’t say that.”

• Excuse #7: Not a morning person

“I hadn’t had my coffee yet.”

• Excuse #8: A morning person

“I had too much coffee.”

• Excuse #9: Writers Strike

“I saw too many episodes of Law and Order and/or Mama’s Family.”

• Excuse #10: Mystical

“Sandi Engleman has a voodoo doll of me. That’s all I’m saying.”

Stay cool. Support City Paper.

City Paper has been bringing the best news, food, arts, music and event coverage to the Holy City since 1997. Support our continued efforts to highlight the best of Charleston with a one-time donation or become a member of the City Paper Club.