BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: Officers were able to return a wallet to its owner via a Build-A-Bear Stuff Fur Stuff Club card.

After arresting a man for an outstanding warrant in a check fraud case, police handed his friend the man’s cell phone and a can of chewing tobacco. We know those plastic tins lock in freshness, but dude, just grab a new one on the way home.

The victim in a bar fight was later arrested for public drunkenness after he kept taunting one of his alleged assailants. Officers noted that the victim kept staring at the offender and “asking him questions.” Damn, Alex Trebek. Just go home.

On patrol on Market Street, an officer found a man leaning against a wall who was apparently too drunk to remember his age and whether or not he was alone. The manager at a nearby bar told officers he was kicked out after he “wandered into the ladies’ restroom.” Wandered. Sure.

Threat O The Week: “The next time this happens, there won’t be a meeting — there will be black and white police cars outside.”

A young woman suspected of public intoxication caught an officer’s attention when she “dropped to her knees and began speaking to the sidewalk.” In an unrelated incident, a man was eventually arrested for disorderly conduct after police noticed the life-size scarecrow decoration he was carrying down the street.

Items Stolen This Week: Four bikes, three iPods, and a GPS unit.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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