BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: A man found passed out on a city park bench told officers he “was just trying to enjoy his time in Houston, and he wasn’t doing anything wrong.” He later told officers he “wished he was back in Charleston with his friends.”

Stolen Items O’ The Week: Five GPS units, three bikes, and an iPod

Christian Bale Rant O’ The Week: “This is my hood. This is my fucking set.”

A Porta-John was damaged when someone used an unattended bulldozer to plow over the construction-site crapper.

Police Report O’ The Week: “The responding officer successfully convinced (the suspect preparing to pee on a wall) to cease the behavior and place his genitals back into his pants.”

Versus O’ The Week: Machete vs. The Club and a hammer.

A man arrested for disorderly conduct claimed he was upset because another man was “talking bad about (his) country.”

A victim reporting an assault appeared to be intoxicated. Asked what year it was, the man said, “The year of our Lord Barack Obama.”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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