BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: Accused of assault, a man told police the victim was trying to be funny, and he “wasn’t in the mood for jokes.”

A woman reporting a vehicle break-in told officers that some clothes and shoes had been taken, but they had no value. The Sex and the City franchise calls it quits, and now fashion is worthless. Thanks, Carrie.

Drunk Quote O’ the Week: “I’m may be drunk somewhat.”

Harassing Phone Call O’ the Week: “You don’t know me but I saw the pic you sent my homeboy and I want to hit that.”

Asked when she started drinking, a woman who’d driven her car into a ditch told officers “after I got out of church.”

A West Ashley café owner reported an overnight robbery last week. She noted that the cash had been taken from the register, but the thief left the money in the tip jar.

Items Stolen This Week: 15 bikes, 11 iPods, 10 GPS units, and three laptops

After catching the scent of marijuana in a car, an officer asked the driver if he had any drugs. He told the suspect, “Honesty is always the best policy.” Easy for the cop to say — he didn’t have pot and cocaine in his car.

Advice O’ The Week: When hiding your $500 Michael Kors purse, don’t put it under a tiger print bag. You might not break into your own car for that dollar store sack, but a thief is not so discerning.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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