Jim DeMint is angry. He’s pissed off. He’s all kinds of fired up. Why? President Barack Obama is lying to the American people. LYING. And it’s all because the president doesn’t want to admit the true cause of the attacks in Libya and the rest of the Middle East.

In a column posted at The Hill, DeMint writes:

It’s been over two weeks since our Libyan consulate was overrun by 
militant Islamists and the Obama Administration still hasn’t provided 
a clear account of what happened that day.

The facts we do know are grave. Four Americans were killed in
 Benghazi. That same day, the stars and stripes were ripped down, 
torched, and replaced with the black flag of militant Islam at the 
U.S. embassy in Egypt. All on the chilling anniversary of September 
11 — when radical jihadists launched the biggest-ever attack on U.S. 
soil in history.

Instead of confronting the reality of the situation, the Obama
 Administration’s first reaction was, in the words of former U.S.
 Ambassador Jeanne Kirkpatrick, to blame America first. Officials
 pointed to an Internet video as cause for the brutality. They
 hesitated to state what the real motivation was behind these 
incidents: a radical Muslim ideology that detests the God-given rights 
to freedom Americans enjoy.

Now, I’m just as dissatisfied with the way the Obama administration has handled these attacks as DeMint. They simply can’t get their facts straight.

However, Jim DeMint is dead wrong when it comes to what he claims is the true reason for these attacks: radical Muslims hate the fact that I can pepper my columns with profanities and proclaim that Jim DeMint is a living, breathing colostomy bag that only thinks it’s a man. Ha. Those guys couldn’t give a fuck what we do in our free time and they care even less about what we say. The reasons for their anger are actually quite clear:

1. It’s politically advantageous to hate the U.S. and riot and burn the Stars and Stripes and the rest of that terrible-two me-so-angry bullshit.

2. They’re unemployed, disenfranchised young Muslim men who can’t drink, can’t screw around, and can’t get high and watch The Hangover for the 300th time.

3. They’re people who are upset that the U.S. is occupying their land.

4. They’re people who are even more upset that the military has killed one or more of their family members in the process of bringing peace and democracy to the Middle East.

I don’t know about you, but it’s high time that when it comes to the ongoing donkey-show demolition derby in the Middle East, we need to drop the stupid fucking rhetoric and just tell it like it is.

This isn’t an end of times Holy War. Hell, this isn’t even World War 2.1. It’s just the same shit that we’ve been dealing with since we decided to meddle in the affairs of the Middle East half a century ago. And it’s high time we called it a day, bring the troops back home, and celebrate by throwing a nationwide keg party. We can even watch the Hangover again.

That scene where Senor Chang jumps out of the truck of the car naked gets me every time.

Stay cool. Support City Paper.

City Paper has been bringing the best news, food, arts, music and event coverage to the Holy City since 1997. Support our continued efforts to highlight the best of Charleston with a one-time donation or become a member of the City Paper Club.