This morning I was on a tear. It was the kind unhinged rampage that makes puppies whimper and Virgin Mary statues weep.

I’m not sure exactly what set me off.

Had I overcooked the bacon?

Had I stubbed my toe on a pillow?

Had I just come to the realization that when I arrived at work, I would be the only person there who hadn’t seen Sunday night’s episode of Mad Men and that I would have to shut my door and play selections from the shag metal opera Fiddler on the Roofie just to drown out the spoiler-rific chatter?

Like I said, I’m not sure. But I do know that my daughters weren’t bothered. In fact, they didn’t seem to mind one bit, which wasn’t unusual. It’s tough to compete with Mr. Noodle’s Brother Mr. Noodle and a Cheerio plucked out of the carpet.

That said, my eldest paid enough attention to my rant to take special note of at least one of the words that exited my mouth. As I locked the door to the house, she said, “Daddy, why did you say ‘damn?'”

I responded the only way I could. I told her the truth: Daddy was angry.

Now, that may not be what the folks at the American Family Association recommend, but fuck them.

See, maybe you’ve heard about this, maybe you haven’t, but the AFA is all sex nuts because the FCC is considering lifting a ban on profanity and nudity on public TV during the 6-10 p.m. hours. And so, they’ve directed their members to contact the FCC and let them know that this act of aggression against all that is decent and boring will not stand. The AFA even has a nice little form letter on their site that you can electronically submit to the FCC.

If you head on over to the FCC’s site, you can see each and every complaint that the commission has received so far. Most adhered to the AFA’s form letter — yawn — but a few, well, they’re just gems.

Here are a few of my favorites:

I am totally against nudity and profanity on any form of viewing media, tv, computer, etc. Our country is getting more immoral by the minute. Please do not allow nudity or profanity or any vulgar storyline to be viewed by ourselves or our children.

My husband and I don’t even want to see or hear such things. We have a security code on our channels that don’t allow inappropriate shows to be seen in our home so this means we would have to cancel our TV watching all together. I guess that’s why I’ve been buying DVD’s for our family to watch and we may have to resort to watching them only

Honestly how could you even address this as an ok issue? I’m lost for words, I am completely disgusted. What a horrible president and leadership Obama truly is, but adding this onto it all is disgraceful!!! There is already enough crap in the world and you are adding to it. It’s complete bull shit.

I am writing to a network of people who , hopefully, will begin to listen to what families have to say. Maybe you can begin to learn the words as follows, honor, faith, honesty, goodness, kindness, courtesy, manners, self respect. I hope this won’t be too much for your minds to take in. Due to all the trash and insulting shows you continue to air and cram down the throats of good Americans. I already know that this e mail will be deleted and not listened to…

I oppose the passing of 13-86 to allow adult programing by changing current law. In fact, the bleeping of vulgar language is common now and is ineffective.

Morals of this country and what our founding fathers fought for without shoes, in the long winters, with frost bitten feet MUST be protected. PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW SMUT ON TV.

Please do not remove the ban on nudity and on foul language on television programs. I feel the bar is already very low. I don’t believe it is good for a society when kids learn via public media that anything goes. Unfortunately, kids are often more influenced by TV than by their very busy parents. I don’t fault the parents, but please let’s not make the influence of television shows any more negative. Incidentally, why is it necessary for you to discourage people from writing by telling us that our name and address will be publicly available on the web? For that matter, why do you make addresses publicly available?

I’m under the impression the FCC is considering dropping it’s ban on the “F” and “S” words as well as allowing full nudity on broadcast radio & tv. I’m writing to state that as a citizen of the U.S., I’m am strongly opposed to the dropping of this ban. In addition, I am strongly offended that the FCC allows the Name of God and Jesus to go unbleeped while other cuss words are blocked.

Allowing the f-word or the s-word or frontal female nudity during prime time TV accomplishes exactly…..what? Who made this decision- a bunch of men?

If nudity and foul language are permitted on TV during daytime hours when children are watching it, the result will be confused children. Children know at school that they get in trouble for cursing or getting nude, but when they see these actions on TV, some will be very puzzled, while others will repeat what they see, even at school.

I remember when I was a child, the closest we gpt to looking at porn wasd the cross your heart bra.

I am not in favor of lifting the nudity and profanity restrictions on non-cable channels. May I say that some are already by-passing the profanity restriction by uttering profanity in Spanish.

I am against ANY form of nudity or showing of anything of a sexual nature.

Give us good programs like we used to watch. We don’t need nudity to get us interested, we need good programs. We had sit coms that were clean. Carole Burnett and Mary Tyler Moore made us laugh every Saturday night.
My favorite night to stay home and watch tv was Saturday. I rarely watch broadcast tv programs any longer. My favorite night on broadcst tv is Wednesday on ABC. I watch two family sitcoms that are clean and funny. Give us good documentaries to watch with our children. Teach the children our true history which they are not learning in school. Help our children to learn with good programing that doesn’t bore the crap out them. Kids are playing violent video games with lots of blood and guts. We need to show things that are real life programs that will bring families together.
Remember the documentary Roots? That was a wonderful series. So was Shogun. We don’t see that type of program any longer.
Surely, there are good authors with books that could be turned into good mini series.

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