Once again, Charlestonians are collectively losing their minds over the possibility that a celebrity is vacationing in the Holy City. In the past, it’s been Johnny Depp, Channing Tatum, Jake Gyllenhaal, and, well, too many other celebrities that were actually never even in town. This time it’s Ryan Gosling, and I’ve got proof that he is in town. In fact, I’ve been following him all day. Here’s a brief list of what The Notebook hottie has been doing since he touched down in the Holy City.

Ryan Gosling is hawking Firehouse Subs on Darius Rucker Blvd in his BVDs

Ryan Gosling just seceded from Berkeley County

Ryan Gosling will complete 526

Ryan Gosling causes the Crosstown to flood

Ryan Gosling discovered the Hunley

Ryan Gosling was caught sun bathing in Marion Square by Wendell Gilliard

Ryan Gosling just beat the Citadel Bulldogs in football

Ryan Gosling just saved Veronica

Ryan Gosling is playing polo with Thomas Ravenel

Ryan Gosling is hanging with Channing Tatum and Johnny Depp

Ryan Gosling is holed up at Mark Sanford’s secret sex dungeon off of Philadelphia Alley

Ryan Gosling is sipping champagne out of Mason jars with the Lee Bros at an authentic oyster roast

Ryan Gosling just returned a stolen painting back to the Charleston Public Library

Ryan Gosling has just been told that Mt. Pleasant is an 1750s euphemism for vagina

Ryan Gosling is reenacting all of his scene in the Notebook in the middle of King Street right now

Ryan Gosling just asked the tour guide where Rhett Butler lived

Ryan Gosling just bought a Confederate flag belt buckle in the Market

Ryan Gosling is in line at Jestine’s. No one told him.

Ryan Gosling just got his back cracked by Byron

Ryan Gosling is at Martha Lou’s putting up a wheatpaste anti-war poster on the side of her pink building

Ryan Gosling just visited Hanahan. He won’t be back.

Ryan Gosling just wrote a cookbook about all the things that Ryan Gosling likes to eat while in Charleston

Ryan Gosling just challenged Sean Brock to a peanut butter sandwich battle … and he won

Ryan Gosling just stole the recipe for Bob Carter’s coconut cake

Ryan Gosling just married Ryan Gosling at Boone Hall Plantation

Ryan Gosling just negotiated a new contract between the Port and the Longshoremen. Free Pop Rocks for everyone

Ryan Gosling just spotted Bill Murray at Queen Street Grocery

Pecha Kucha’s new line up was just announced. It’s Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling, and Ryan Gosling

The Joe has just been renamed. From now on it’s Hey Girl Stadium. Thanks, Ryan Gosling.

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