Mt. Pleasant high schoolers, your mayor, Billy Swails, is thinking about you and your post-high school plans. He knows how much you love your hometown, and how much you never want to leave. He knows that the thought of traveling over the Ravenel to attend the College of Charleston is too terrifying, let alone heading all the way to Columbia or Clemson. More importantly, he knows that you are just too stupid to get into CofC. Seriously, he said that. And so he wants to bring a Francis Marion University satellite campus to Mt. Pleasant because they’ll take your stupid asses. The Post and Courier’s Diane Knich reports:

Many local students aren’t accepted at the College of Charleston, a liberal arts school on the peninsula with a growing national reputation, Swails said. The college enrolls large numbers of high-achieving, out-of-state students, who pay higher tuition rates, and in most cases requires students to have high SAT scores, he said.

Francis Marion, on the other hand, has demonstrated success educating South Carolina residents in the Pee Dee region, many of whom don’t have super SAT scores or are among the first generation in their families to attend college, Swails said.

Of course, we all know that Swails’ bid to bring Francis Marion to Mt. Pleasantville has nothing to do with helping dumbass Wando grads. It’s about money, and chances are Mayor Billy and his big developer pals have already picked out a spot to build a satellite campus and they’re set to pocket some cash if Francis Marion decides to open up an East Cooper franchise. Even the stupid students of Mt. Pleasant can see that.

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