There are few sporting events as meaningless as the Pro Bowl. It’s a worthless athletic contest that falls somewhere between last night’s game of beer pong and Disney’s Princesses on Ice. 

The MLB and NBA All-Star games aren’t much better, but at the very least they arrive during the middle of the season and as such function in some way as a rallying point for fans and players. They also feature two much more interesting contests: the Home Run Derby and the Slam Dunk Contest, the former being a true test of athletic mettle, the latter a Honey Boo Boo beauty pageant for millionaire glory hounds who actually despise the game of basketball. The Pro Bowl doesn’t have anything like that.

The truth of the matter is, no pro footballer who has his eyes on playing next year should play in the Pro Bowl. Every extra down they play is an extra opportunity to get hurt, even in a game as soullessly played as the Pro Bowl.

Sadly, the folks behind the Medal of Honor Bowl think college football fans actually want to watch an all-star contest, albeit one that’s likely to feature not a single big-name player. Once again, what college player is going to want to risk a career-ending injury to play a meaningless dog-and-pony post-season game? Only those whose careers are already over with. 

For years, the fine men and women at the Medal of Honor Bowl — which’ll take place Jan. 11, 2014, well after the BCS Championship — have been trying to bring a bowl game to Charleston’s Johnson-Hagood Stadium. However, the NCAA has balked at the idea. Why? Years ago, they decided that they would never host a post-season sporting event in South Carolina because our fair state continues to fly the Confederate flag on State House grounds. But the Medal of Honor folks wouldn’t have any of it. They kept trying.

And while the solution they came up with was novel — let’s get senior players whose collegiate careers are over with to play, thereby skirting the ban — it’s not any better than no game at all. They might not realize that now, but they certainly will when they lose their shirts on this ill-advised contest.

On Jan. 11, 2014, a question asked by Zen Buddhists for ages will finally be answered: If a football game is played and no one is there to see, did it even occur?

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