My fellow mutants, followers of Eris, and lovers of all things gonzo, I have exciting news for you: the patron saint of all that is weird is alive. Yes, ladies and beasts, we now have definitive proof that Hunter S. Thompson faked his 2005 suicide.

I know, I know. Shocking.

But what’s even more shocking is how we found out: Sarah Palin. 

That’s right, you swine, the one-time GOP vice presidential candidate found Dr. Gonzo on the open road. Not surprisingly, she seemed to have no idea who he was. Then again, what can you expect from a lady who once boasted, “I can see Russia from my blouse” … or something to that effect.

Watch this teaser for Palin’s latest reality TV show, “Amazing America” and see for yourself.

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