It’s very difficult for me to pay attention to most of the political rhetoric and discourse out there these days. I long ago decided that, for the most part, politicians on every level of government are nothing more than mouthpieces for the wealthy elite in this country, people who are content to let most of us bicker and argue over unimportant issues, all the while stuffing their pockets, mattresses, and offshore bank accounts with money made from our labor.

So a few weeks back when I read a quick piece about some South Carolina legislators openly saying that a new Constitutional Convention should be convened, I pretty much ignored it. For starters, these sorts of comments have come and gone over the years. Secondly, the simple fact is that on some level these folks are not at all wrong about a need to change the Constitution, but most of them aren’t terribly serious about it.

Whenever they say that they want to hold a Constitutional Convention, they do so knowing two things: 1.) It probably won’t be anytime soon, if at all, and 2.) It sounds great to their base, a.k.a. the folks who think the nation is currently under the control of a Muslim-Communist-Lizard Person. Of course, I’m not sure what they think a new Constitution or new amendments will do to stop the oncoming Muslim-Commie-Lizard onslaught, but if it keeps them happy, more power to them.

But my apathy toward this topic changed last week when I was jolted by a piece by The Post and Courier‘s Jeremy Borden headlined, “S.C. senators adopt plan to outlaw gay marriage by amending Constitution.” Now, this new effort is, in and of itself, more of the same run-of-the-mill pandering that appeals to the sorts of people for whom “The Gays” remain the largest national threat since, well, I don’t know … pick a group that has somehow threatened the country by merely trying to receive equal treatment under the law. Oddly enough, it wasn’t the headline that grabbed me. It was a tweet from another P&C reporter highlighting only one of the abysmally stupid comments made by GOP legislators in the piece. According to the story, the Lowcountry’s own Sen. Larry Grooms says that stopping gay marriage “has to do with the propagation of our species.”

Take a moment and let that sink in.

A supposedly college-educated member of the S.C. Senate believes that humanity is in danger of going extinct if homosexuals are allowed to marry. In other words, climate change, food and water insecurity, or war are not humanity’s biggest enemies. That dubious honor goes to gay marriage.

This idea is so insanely stupid, so incredibly and abominably asinine, as to prevent me from forming a single coherent thought of my own to describe how stupid it is. But please allow me to try.

Apparently, Mr. Grooms believes that homosexuals are only now becoming a threat to humanity because they want to marry and that, through some bizarre Southern Baptist logic, if they can marry, then they can make more gay people and then humanity will end because there will only be gay people and gay people can’t … make … more?

No, wait. Sorry. That doesn’t make any sense. We’ll return to that in a minute.

For a moment, let’s turn to another quote from a Senate Republican. This one is from Shane Massey of Edgefield: “Marriage is one man and one woman, and I believe that’s the way it’s been in the history of mankind up until the last 15 years.”

Well, OK, sure. If by “history of mankind,” you mean “the recorded history of mankind which, despite the constant presence of homosexuals, has, for the most part, conveniently left gay people out of the history books by finding interesting ways of saying that they were homosexual without, you know, just coming right out and saying they were homosexual.” It also helps if you’re one of those strange people who assume that either the world is only 6,000 years old (which would then mean that recorded history is the entirety of history) or that, perhaps, humans 13,000 years ago got married and had completely monogamous relationships thereafter. Either way, the argument that gay marriage isn’t “historical” and therefore shouldn’t be allowed is a completely stupid argument. You can believe whatever you want, Sen. Massey, but if you allow your beliefs to unjustly oppress another group of human beings, you have no business being in public service.

Which brings us back to Sen. Grooms’ fear that gay marriage will lead to the end of humanity. If that’s his true belief, then what is he doing serving in public office? He should grow a beard, put on a robe, grab a soapbox, stand on the street corner with all the other doomsdayers and apocalyptic loons and do his part to save humanity from imminent destruction, and let people with common sense do the governing.

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