Blotter o’ the Week: A Japanese woman called police to report that her dog had chewed up her passport.

A police officer caught a man peeing on a trash can, and he tried to run away while continuing to urinate. After what the officer described as “an extremely brief foot pursuit,” the man fell to the ground and was arrested on charges of public urination and public intoxication.

A man picked his car up after it had been serviced at a car dealership and realized later that someone had stolen a 15-round magazine clip of 40-caliber ammunition from a storage area in the door.

Naughty Nurse o’ the Week: When a police officer stopped to talk to a woman who was standing beside her vehicle in the middle of the roadway, she refused to get out of traffic and yelled, “I’m trying to get my friend home.” The officer handed the woman a pedestrian off sidewalk citation, and she replied, “I save your fucking life! I’m a nurse and I work in the OR! … If you ever come to my ER room, I hope you fucking die.” The officer arrested her on a public disorderly conduct charge.

Somebody allegedly embezzled more than $2,000 from a dollar store.

A man was moving out of his apartment when he realized that someone had stolen a WWII-era three-foot Japanese samurai sword from his closet. He suspects his ex-roommate might have taken it.

Around 10 p.m. on a Saturday night, three men and two women walked into a bar and tried to get a reservation. They were told there’d be a wait. When they came back around 11:30 and were told to get in line, one of the women swung her purse at a bouncer, two of the men attacked a bouncer, and members of the group tried (unsuccessfully) to turn over the hostess stand. They took off in a car, and when police arrived, the bouncer was bleeding from his head and knee.

A man tried to steal an entire bottle of rum from a restaurant by taking it from behind the bar and hiding it in the waistband of his shorts. An employee caught the man and stopped his swashbuckling adventure before it ever began.

A man walked into a hotel around 2 a.m. wearing nothing but a red shirt. When police questioned him, he said he didn’t know where he was or where he had come from, but that he had been drinking in the woods earlier that night.

Somebody stole 23 bottles of Chinese herbs that had been mailed to a woman’s house.

A police officer says that while driving, he was able to smell “a strong odor of marijuana” coming from the car in front of him. He pulled the car over, frisked the driver and passenger, and found a scale in the car’s center console with white and green specks on it that he said resembled cocaine and marijuana. A K-9 unit was brought in but was unable to find any other drugs in the car. The officer cited both the driver and the passenger with possession of drug paraphernalia.

Q&A o’ the Week: A police officer was on patrol around 2:15 a.m. when a man tottered toward him and asked “what the laws and regulations were for walking intoxicated on King Street,” according to an incident report. The officer told him it was against the law — and also noticed that the man smelled like alcohol, had bloodshot eyes, and was having a hard time completing sentences. When the man failed to sit still and be quiet while the officer hailed him a cab, the officer arrested him on a public intoxication charge.

A man was driving home from his mother’s house when he heard three gunshots and saw a car drive off. He drove back home, got out of his car, and saw three bullet holes in the rear of the vehicle, including one that punctured the gas tank. He told police he had no idea who would have shot at his car.

An officer stopped a man who had just walked out of a bar holding an open bottle of beer and told him it was against the law to carry an open container in Charleston. The officer told the man to take the beer back inside, but instead the man walked to the rear of the line at the front door and drank the rest of the bottle before placing it on the ground. The officer gave him a citation for an open container violation.

A restaurant employee says she parked her car around 3 a.m. and went inside to start baking. She returned to her car at 8 a.m. and saw that someone had smashed her front passenger window with a brick. God speed all the bakers at dawn.

Somebody stole a brand-new $93,000 sedan from a luxury car dealership. A sales manager noticed the vehicle was missing while walking the lot in the morning, and when he went to look for the car’s key fob in the office, he saw that it had been switched out with another car’s key fob.

A man called police to say that he was walking on the Ravenel Bridge and he was scared. An officer arrived and found the man walking in the breakdown lane beside traffic and not in the pedestrian walkway. The man said it was his friend’s 21st birthday and that he had consumed “more than nine beers.” The officer arrested him on a public intoxication charge.

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