It’s finally here, kids. The final episode of Southern Charm season 2. And, unlike Mad Men, the finale tied up plenty of loose ends, including the question of whether or not T-Rav and Kathryn will stay together (definitely not). We are so close to a Jerry Springer episode, Craig tells Shep the morning after the campaign wrap-up party. And he’s not wrong — cue Kathryn. 

But first, let’s check in with Patricia at her mansion with her A-list interior designer, Mario Buatta, who is helping her supervise the hanging of blue-and-white plates that surely cost a small fortune. He makes a clever joke about Whitney’s tight pants: “Like a cheap hotel. No ballroom.” Too bad he had to explain it to Whitney. 

The three talk about T-Rav’s situation and Kathryn’s psychotic episodes. “She’s a feral, wild girl who flips at the slightest provocation,” explains Whitney. 

Speaking of T-Rav, he heads over to JD’s backyard for a mano y mano discussion of the nightmare he’s living. He’s stunned by how badly he lost the election. JD tells him that campaign-Thomas has been a different Thomas, one that no one wants to vote for and is unrecognizable to his friends.

“I’m in a situation here,” bemoans T-Rav. “What do I do?” 

Thomas reflects how happy he was before he met Kathryn, but JD makes the point that he’d just gotten out of prison, so, of course, he was happy.

Thomas decides he must cut out the chaos. And Kathryn equals chaos. But he sure does love her physicality and her red hair, which is very apparent when Kathryn shows up to the Wounded Warrior fundraiser on the Yorktown later. The lech can barely keep his hands off her. More on that later. 

In a desperate attempt to make herself more acceptable, Kathryn heads to the Charleston Academy of Domestic Pursuits, a real thing created by some Charleston socialites, to learn how to make a nice plate of roasted vegetables for her man. Parsnip preparation ensues along with advice on how to reflect on life while cooking. The best advice Kathryn gets, though, is that she needs to get a jobby-job so she can support herself. But Kathryn protests because Thomas promised her a place to live, a car, and a relationship. Looks like she might be grasping at carrot straws here. “I’m not going anywhere without a fight,” says Kathryn ominously.

Before we get to the party, we check in with Landon, who brings her mom into town to help her with a pop-up store. We’ve already been prepped by Landon to expect mom to be a total bitch. The biggest problem for Landon is that life has not been like an afternoon at the beach club, and that’s the only thing her mom raised her to be good for. Gosh, her mom is a bitch! 

It’s time for Patricia’s fundraiser for Wounded Warriors on the Yorktown, where Whitney’s ’90s rock band gets some airtime and Shep and Craig get auctioned off to the highest bidders. 

Poor Shep. He’s mortified when Craig goes for five grand to a hot little country singer while he goes for a measly $1,750, bid on by Cameran no less. Afterwards, Shep lashes out at Craig, which comes off a lot like sour grapes. “Craig is so dumb, who would go out with him?” 

To prove how dumb he is, Craig bonks his head on the door as he goes outside to chat with Shep and crew. Shep’s so jelly about not getting bid on that he can’t let it go and gets all up in Craig’s face. 

Finally, Kathryn arrives, and she’s on a mission to show Thomas what a mistake he made. Thomas admits that when he sees her, the chemistry overtakes him. They circle each other at the party for a bit before T-Rav catches up with her. He can’t keep his eyes/hands off of her. He’s falling into her wicked web. 

Whitney corners T-Rav and finally gets to stick it to him about Kathryn and Craig spending the night on the beach together. T-Rav refuses to believe. 

“I don’t know what I want,” slurs Thomas to Kathryn. “What do you want?” With that, Kathryn pulls out her notebook and lists her demands: love, acknowledgement, a ring on her finger, loyalty, maybe that car he promised. Thomas counters with shared custody and booty calls. When Kathryn starts slagging on Whitney and Jennifer for talking about them, T-Rav tells her to forget it and stalks out of the party. Kathryn kicks off her shoes — and her integrity — and chases him down the gangplank, screaming all the way. 

The end.

An epilogue shows Craig packing his car and leaving Charleston for Delaware to get his shit together.

Next week, the Charmers reconvene for the reunion. 

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