If you’re like us, you’ve often said to yourself, “I wish there was a hand-held new take on classic mac n’ cheese, perfect for snacking on the go.” Well friends, the dreamweavers at Burger King have answered our prayers and given birth to a new era in food science, a 310 calorie box of Clemson Tiger-colored niblets, or as Burger King is calling them Mac n’ Cheetos.

This wholly new food group offers what’s long been missing on drive-thru menus — the mouthwatering combination of buttery noodles with the finger-licking allure of Cheeto cheese dust. But could this so obviously right synthesis of flavors really be as good as they look? 

To get a better understanding, we sent out Crap Foods Senior Correspondent Dustin Waters into the field to get his hands on the electric orange bites. Here’s his Mac n’ Cheetos video report:

And now, the full review from Dustin Waters:

It’s been 20 years since Cheetos introduced the concept of “Dangerously cheesy.” Before then, weaponized cheddar was merely hypothetical — something for the big brains in Washington to ponder, but not a real threat to the general population. But now, in an era where almost every available surface and cranny has been injected, dusted, and coated in cheese, society has perhaps reached a point of no return. With the introduction of Burger King’s new Mac n’ Cheetos, it becomes clear that we were so busy wondering how we can bring about a cheesier tomorrow that we never stopped to ask why? And as Chester Cheetah, the anthropomorphic Cheetos mascot and modern-day Cassandra warned us all those years ago: It ain’t easy bein’ cheesy.”

The first thing you recognize about Mac n’ Cheetos is the remarkable packaging. Encased in a paper box adorned in the finest shades of orange, it’s clear that the minds at Burger King want you to take pause before unwrapping these coy morsels. While the visage of these snacks is at first hidden from view, there is no containing the unmistakable aroma of hot Cheetos. Each package of Mac n’ Cheetos smells as if one has placed an open bag of cheese puffs upon their dash board on a hot summer day and allowed the rich odor to fill the air of their vehicle.

[image-1]Once the cover has been slipped and your cheesy bounty is on full display for all to see, you find what looks to be a cross between a cheese puff and a jalapeño popper — the keystones in our modern American food pyramid. Carefully plucking one of these orange fingerlings from the package, you realize just how sturdy these snacks are. Upon first bite, you are met with a subtle crunch that gives way to a hearty melted cheese and delicate noodles. It is at this point you are forced to give pause.

While the cheese cocoon provided the comfort of any classic Cheetos snack, the interior cheese proves to be challenging, yet delicious. By quickly adhering to the inside of your mouth in a manner similar to paste, the macaroni and cheese demand that you slow down and take your time to really savor what it is you are eating. Peering back into the container, you realize that you still have four more opportunities to study and enjoy your Mac n’ Cheetos. While they offer a powerful cheese experience sure to please most palates, consuming an entire order of Mac n’ Cheetos can prove daunting. Like all of life’s finest pleasures, these precious delicacies are best enjoyed amongst friends and loved ones — lest you risk being overcome by the cheese that goes crunch.

Stay cool. Support City Paper.

City Paper has been bringing the best news, food, arts, music and event coverage to the Holy City since 1997. Support our continued efforts to highlight the best of Charleston with a one-time donation or become a member of the City Paper Club.