If Donald Trump has taught us anything this election season it’s that sexual assault is totally hilarious. Don’t believe me? Just ask this guy, who made Jezebel headlines this morning for showing up at Cutty’s last night dressed as none other than a bottle of Rohypnol. I mean wow. I can hardly contain my belly laughs, this costume is just so fucking funny.

According to SB Nation reporter Jim Lohmar, who Tweeted pictures of the unidentified man last night, the walking benzodiazepine “hovered around the bar for an hour or so before some of my other Facebook friends saw that he was, well, dressed as a bottle of date rape drug. After seeing it on social media, a group of eight or so women friends entered the bar and confronted him.”

Jessie Parks was one of those women. “Some friends and I were made aware of his costume via social media, so we decided to go as a group,” Parks says of the confrontation. “About seven of us went to Cutty’s together because the costume was so offensive and inappropriate and we thought that should be pointed out. We took turns speaking to him one on one because we thought it would be more effective to personally explain why the costume was inappropriate.”

Parks says her own dialogue focused on the facts. “I told him one in three women are a victim of sexual assault and that I just can’t find it funny,” she says. “I asked, ‘What were your intentions?’ He told me it was satire and to basically spark a conversation. I said you certainly have elicited a response. However, satire requires nuance and prescience both of which this costume lacks.”

Parks said the man responded by telling her she lacked a sense of humor. “I said I’ve
worked in publishing and I’m quite aware of literary devices and that shit’s not satire. You have failed. Then his friend tried to say that the guy’s a feminist and he’s liberal. I told him that his intentions may have been good, maybe this was meant to be satire, however in reality this has fallen short of your good intentions. So as a feminist, when you realize that myriad women are upset by your costume, you should apologize and remove it.”

Parks says, “I continued speaking with his friend hoping we could just get on the same page and maybe he would be receptive as a quote ‘feminist’ to what an actual fucking woman might think.” Alas, no dice.

According to Lohmar, the bottle of Rohypnol was eventually escorted off the premises and “left without issue and the bar applauded as he did so.”

Good for them. We, however, offer our applause to Parks and her pals. Here’s to Cutty’s Costume Crusaders.

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