[embed-1] Forget the exclusive American Express Centurion Card or the The World Elite MasterCard. The only card I want is Waffle House’s new Black Card, the ultimate in golden hash brown luxury.

According to a tweet from the South’s favorite diner chain, the Awful Waffle has just released their first line of gift cards, and not a moment too soon. I don’t know about you, but since Tuesday the overwhelming urge to eat my feelings has never been stronger. Which is why I’m asking Santa for just one thing this year: a Waffle House gift card.

Sure, new shoes or a laptop would be nice, but as any visit to Savannah Highway’s Waffle House will prove, this card will surely be the gift that keeps on giving the whole year through. Why? Because just like a Starbucks cards, you can recharge your Waffle House Black Card, maximizing calorie-earning potential throughout the year.

So, if you’re thinking about the perfect item to send to your ol’ pal here, open a smothered, covered, and chunked account in my name.

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