Blotter o’ the Week: “Responding Officer is able to recognize the odor of marijuana due to training and experience.” All right.

A man may have lost his fully loaded Glock 22 while using the bathroom at a downtown courthouse.

A South of Broad woman called the cops on a neighbor who continuously baits and teases her dogs only to call animal control shortly after.

A man insisted that the package being retrieved from his left pant leg contained a blunt. “All right, it’s Ecstasy pills,” he later admitted.

When an officer asked a man how much weed he had with him, he replied, “Enough that I am probably going to jail tonight.”

The owner of a now-closed eyewear store in West Ashley thinks that a former employee may have moved from her current address in an attempt to avoid facing accusations of embezzling up to 500 hours worth of wages per year.

The promise of a puppy was used to scam someone who wire transferred $150, the first half of a payment for a Craigslist-advertised dog that never materialized.

A casual speeding stop led to this sentence being uttered: “I’m going to be completely honest with you, there is another bag of cocaine in my right pocket.”

A man went into a West Ashley department store with an empty cart, chose items out of the view of surveillance cameras, and pocketed over $100 after returning them with fake receipts.

A woman was free to text for help only after she convinced her abusive boyfriend to go to Chic-Fil-A and grab dinner. Chic-Fil-A: saving lives since 1967.

A woman believes her boyfriend’s ex is responsible for sending her threatening text messages, including one reading, “Check your car leave us alone,” which was sent right before the woman found the tires on her two cars slashed in her driveway.

A woman called the police after she couldn’t find her son, who arrived from Boston after being involuntarily committed to a psychiatric facility. When authorities found him near Riverland Terrace, he told them that South Carolina residents were being given HIV in an attempt to turn the state into “the next Africa.” He also broke his cell phone and ate the SIM card.

An abandoned sailboat marked “Sanity” drifted into the docks at the City Marina last week — a perfect photo op for anyone who can’t afford to chill on an actual boat.

A “routine shoplifter” stole a 24-pack of beer and a box of Cheez-Its from a King Street drug store last week. This guy knows how to party.

A mom had an unexpected run-in with officers who responded to a call claiming that a woman was standing in front of a local elementary school with a gun. She explained to an officer that she took the toy gun away from her son before he went into school and placed it in her back pocket while chatting with friends.

A man tried to shoplift from Belk and was caught, which will hopefully teach him a lesson about shopping at Belk.

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