Blotter o’ the week: A man hid in the back of a convenience store, drank a 24-ounce can of Icehouse, and left it there for employees to find.

A man stole $50 worth of crab meat from a West Ashley supermarket for what better be some killer crab cakes.

A fight outside of a convenience store proved far too uncouth for the hallowed grounds of King Street. “At the time of the incident, multiple pedestrians observed this public spectacle that disrupted the repose of the area,” an officer wrote.

A man lost his wedding band while dancing with his friends at a downtown nightclub.

Various students told an officer that a middle school girl brandished a razor blade on the bus and threatened to cut people with it.

A man in a West Ashley convenience store was cursing at customers and telling them he was a police officer. Officers asked him why he was at the store even after he was told to leave, to which he replied, “It’s my spot.”

A woman returned to her car at a downtown parking garage and found that her front passenger-side window had been smashed. Everything inside was intact, including a cellphone and some cash.

A woman was at a light on Rutledge Avenue when she saw the man in the car next to her masturbating and looking at her. When she posted about it on Facebook, a woman said the same thing happened to her a month ago.

A woman called the cops after her ex assaulted her. When he got back to the apartment and saw her talking to police, he shouted, “The cops are here!” and walked inside quickly. Cops last saw him climbing over a fence behind the complex.

A man loaded his shopping cart with a $170 remote-controlled car and a $250 hoverboard at a West Ashley department store. He went to a self-checkout lane and charged himself 24 cents by scanning two Kool Aid barcodes. He’s been known to use the same scheme at other stores in the city.

In a rather anachronistic crime, a man stole a CD from a West Ashley music store by stuffing it in his pants and running away. According to a cashier, he appeared flustered when he tried to buy a Snickers bar and repeated the words “candy bar” multiple times.

A barefoot 40-year-old woman was found throwing personal items and harassing passers-by near Marion Square on a recent Saturday evening. One of her victims, a man from Hawaii who was visiting his daughter for graduation, said the woman followed him and grabbed him.

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