Blotter o’ the week: After a night of drinking at a downtown bar, a woman and her husband began to vomit a “white foamy substance.” Wish there was more to this, but two people were just throwing up foam. Cool.
If you’re curious what radar system CPD uses to track vehicle speed, one officer was using a Stalker DSR 2X to catch one downtown motorist who was breaking the speed limit. The name alone suggests a dystopian future android that hunts dissenters, but nope. It’s just a radar.
At a downtown gas station, a man flashed a firearm at an employee before leaving with an unpaid-for soda. The report doesn’t mention if he yelled, “Put the Sprite in the bag.” We think he was a quiet armed robber.
An officer chased a man accused of disorderly conduct into a West Ashley restaurant. After detaining the man, who was “passively resisting” and “acting as if he wanted to fight” simultaneously, the officer put him in the police car. The man began screaming and banging his head against the cage in the vehicle. Gotta admit, that’s kind of disorderly.
One patrolling officer found a man seemingly passed out at the wheel of his car at a stop sign and went to check on the driver. The officer noticed that the car was still in gear, and that the man still had his foot on the brake. But upon waking him up, the man attempted to drive away, then shifted into neutral, then into reverse, stepped on the gas and nearly backed into the officer’s cruiser. As you’ve probably guessed, the dude drank a few beers.
While officers were writing up a couple of reprobates for their open containers of Edge beer in downtown Charleston, one officer made what had to have been very awkward eye contact with a man across the way, noting a “strong, arched stream from a male’s groin area onto a tree trunk.” Either this officer is naturally observant, or he was far too interested in this man’s strong, arched stream.
An American flag and a South Carolina flag were stolen from a West Ashley bank at the beginning of June, but were just reported to police. Guess they’re trying to prepare for the Fourth.
“Stab the eyes out of the state” was scrawled in spray paint on a West Ashley building alongside two anarchy symbols. This is a new slogan we haven’t heard, but no one’s denying it has energy.
Like tragic celebrity deaths, public urinations happen in clusters. This time, a man with his back to officers facing some shrubbery said he was just admiring the bushes. But when officers later checked, the leaves were “wet with a liquid.” The way these reports are worded make for great punchlines on their own.
One man’s .22-caliber handgun was stolen from the center console of his parked car in West Ashley. Why do people keep leaving guns in their unlocked cars? Don’t they know we make fun of them in the Blotter?
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