Blotter o’ the week: A man informed officers that he found a bag of unknown drugs and a puppy in his driveway. Is anyone else imagining it to be a baby St. Bernard with a small barrel of meth on its collar? No? Just us?
A Johns Island man alerted police to a handgun and $3,600 in cash missing from his car’s glove box. Let’s go ahead and chalk this one up as several stolen handguns because you can buy a few more with $3,600.
A man was admitted to a West Ashley hospital. According to the police report, it was necessary to search his belongings; among them was 20 grams of marijuana. They must have needed more medical supplies for their stash.
Last week, a man broke the front window to a Charleston restaurant and made his way into the freezer, where he grabbed a “handful” of ice cream. We hope it wasn’t a literal barehanded scoop of ice cream, but we also kind of hope it was.
On King Street, a man was cited and arrested for “Publix Intoxication.” After all, it is “where shopping is a pleasure.”
Police were alerted to vandalism downtown after a man was suspected of scratching a vehicle with a key. The suspect kind of incriminated himself when he fled the scene on a bike yelling “Fuck you” to the victim.
One man believed he was the victim of a personal attack and a hate crime when his golf cart was vandalized in his front driveway overnight. He had no security camera footage or clues as to who could have done this, but maybe he’s on to something. After all, white people have it so hard nowadays.
One woman had two pairs of Air Jordan shoes stolen from the trunk of her car, along with $11 in loose change from the inside driver-side door. This thief is going to be hard to catch with such a high vertical, not to mention cab fare.
A West Ashley man had a cruel taste of irony when he left a brand-new spare key in the center console of his truck. That night, the vehicle was stolen from outside his apartment building, but more importantly, so was that shiny new key.
A mother entered her son’s room to wake him up in the morning and was shocked to find a make-up case, heart-shaped sunglasses and a wallet with a girl’s S.C. driver’s license inside. In this situation would you:
A) Lie and say you had a girl over,
B) Admit that you stole the stuff from a car or
C) Convince your mom to call the police because someone clearly broke into your room and left their things behind?
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