Illustration by Steve Stegelin

The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department.

Blotter of the week: A West Ashley man called Charleston police Aug. 23 asking if he would be charged in every municipality if he were to kill his neighbor, dismember the body and distribute the parts all over South Carolina. He didn’t answer his door or his phone for the police when they showed up at his apartment. Wonder why. 

Angry drunk
Police arrested a man downtown Aug. 23 for disorderly conduct and having an open container. Police said he crushed and threw a full can of malt liquor when officers approached him after he had been yelling at passing cars and children walking to school at 8:09 a.m. Someone got started early. 

Chauffeur needed
Officers responded Aug. 23 to a report of a man falling in the street downtown. He was clearly drunk, police reported, considering he couldn’t stand steadily or talk clearly. He didn’t know how he would get back out to his Isle of Palms hotel and  couldn’t remember his wife’s phone number. Police arrested him for public intoxication and gave him a ride … to jail.

Scam attempt
A man told police at the station Aug. 24 that he got a call from a public defender who said his son had been arrested after a traffic accident and needed $20,000 in bail, but the caller marked it down to $8,000. He asked the man to mail the cash to a specified address. After the man called his son and found out he wasn’t in jail, the light bulb came on.

Parking enforcement 
Charleston police responded Aug. 24 to a call from a man claiming his neighbor was leaving notes on his truck after he confronted her about parking issues. He found a folder on his truck with papers that read, “You owe me an apology. Stop bullying me. Stop it now! No one likes a bully!” She signed every page. She received a warning from the police, but at least she’s organized. 

Basic math?
Charleston police met a man Aug. 25 downtown after he reported he had been defrauded on Facebook Marketplace while purchasing a mattress for $100. The buyer asked for additional money to process the $100 transaction. The man sent him $1,500 on Venmo and $800 on Zelle. He didn’t get his money back. Well, duh.

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