Everywhere you look in Cator Sparks’ Cannonborough-Elliotborough home, you’ll spot something worldly and eclectic — a dining room chandelier from a castle in Sweden, a side table of stacked vintage travel trunks from a flea market in New York City, a lamp with an intricate glass Toucan sculpture from Mureno, Italy.
Sparks, who works as a life coach, collects these unique treasures from travels and from friends and family.
“I like to live eccentrically and freely, and I’m really connected to nature,” Sparks said, “so much of my house is connected with crystals and portraits of birds and sculptures of deer. I just really resonate with nature. And, growing up in the South, a lot of the stuff in my house is from my family — my grandmother, my great aunt, my mom.
“But, I also want it to be cozy. I don’t want anyone to feel like they’re in a museum.”
Sparks’ connection to nature is clear in his backyard garden, which features more than 100 plants and flowers, many of which are native to South Carolina.
He said his personal and home decor style is akin to a house in East Sussex, England, ironically called the Charleston. It was owned by artists Duncan Grant and Vanessa Bell, the sister of writer Virginia Woolf. From the 1920s through the 1940s, their home was the headquarters of the Bloomsbury Group, a collection of radical artists, writers, philosophers and creatives.
“They were painting the walls and doing murals, and the whole house was handpainted by them — doors and bed frames and all that,” Sparks said.
He visited the house, which is now a museum, with two close friends and said it was a life-changing experience.
“There were lots of queer people in the Bloomsbury group,” he said. “And, our tour guide was a nonbinary kid with glitter on their eyes, and I just started crying. I felt like, ‘This house is magic.’ And my friends said, ‘You know, this is just like your house. It has the same vibe, everything’s artsy and touched with character,’ and it really touched me.”
Finding connection
Sparks’ personality and life experiences are just as colorful and intriguing as his decor.
Sitting in his living room with his Scottish terriers, Fergus and Gareth, he told tales of working with Charleston native Jeffrey Kalinsky to open Jeffrey, the first retail store in Manhattan’s meatpacking district. It was frequented by celebrities like Christy Turlington and Madonna.
He recounted memories of slaying the stage as a drag queen under the name Spectra Gramm in Atlanta and even made an appearance in drag on a French TV show. And, he talked reverently about working with a shaman during a recent trip to Peru.
Born in Atlanta, Sparks found a community in Charleston when he attended the College of Charleston as a student in 1994.
“I was a part of the rave scene, which was life-saving for me,” he said. “It was my absolute happy place. It was where I met people who respected me, affirmed me, loved me for who I was.
“I met a lot of gay kids but also a lot of straight kids who didn’t care about my sexuality. They just wanted to dance and play with glow sticks, so that was pretty awesome.”
Sparks painted a picture of a recent but bygone Charleston that pounded with warehouse raves and spontaneous dance parties galore.
One place particularly stands out in his memories: The Arcade, which he described as a warehouse with 100-foot ceilings and a huge dance floor. On one side, drag queens danced late into the night; on the other was a country-western gay bar.
“They had Western saddles that you sat in as stools. It was brilliant,” he said.
Though his rave days may be behind him, Sparks still loves an adventure, traveling often and hosting dinner parties with friends. Signs of Sparks’ friendships are scattered throughout the house.
His dining room walls were hand-painted by friend Justin Giunta to mimic expensive Zuber wallpaper. Paper dolls are added to the walls by guests. Portraits of Sparks in various artistic styles created by artist friends decorate a wall next to the staircase.
Reaching acceptance
Sparks, a CofC graduate, worked as a writer for 15 years, contributing to outlets including The New York Times, Architectural Digest and Bloomberg Pursuits. He covered topics related to men’s fashion, design and travel.
In 2019, his professional life took a turn when he started his life-coaching business Cator Sparks Coaching.
“A very basic explanation is that therapy talks about the past, and coaching talks about the future,” he said. “So while we will dive into the past sometimes, because we often need to talk about what happened in the past in order to move forward, it’s always to move forward. We’re going to talk about it and process it to move on to what your goal is.”
But his current profession and previous writing career seem to go hand-in-hand.
“What I loved about [being a journalist] was that I was helping people,” he said. “That was the basis of my writing. When I would cover a new brand and put them in The New York Times, they would start crying, like it changed their life. Journalism is storytelling and helping these people succeed really made me happy.”
Sparks continues to do just that in his life-coaching career working primarily with individuals of all ages who identify as male. He works with straight and gay men, helping them to find acceptance and confidence.
“As a gay man, I’d never had a gay coach, and it was mind-blowing once I could talk to another gay man about being gay,” he said. And he hopes to offer that same open dialogue to others.
Though Sparks acknowledged there are clearly still strides to be made for the LGBTQ community, particularly with the increased prevalence of proposed anti-trans legislation, he stays positive.
“There’s so much more support for queer people,” he said. “Like when I was growing up and Reagan was not funding AIDS, there was nowhere for me to turn as a kid in the closet in Atlanta, whereas now, I can get online and sign a petition and go to a protest.
“It sucks we still have to fight for our own rights, and that’s why I’m here for these queer kids who need support.”
In addition to his professional services, he facilitate an LGBTQ men’s group for EVRYMAN, a global mens wellness organization, in Charleston that meets every Wednesday.
“It’s open to the public and anyone’s welcome. I have a lot of people, from 20-year-olds to 60-year-olds, who come and say, ‘I think I’m gay, and I don’t know what to do,’ and they have five to 12 other men out there saying, ‘We’re here for you. We support you. We love you,’ so finding that kind of support is important.”
The Lowdown
Cator Sparks
Age: 46.
Birthplace: Atlanta, Ga.
Education: Fashion marketing degree, College of Charleston.
Current profession: Life coach for men.
Past professions of interest: Journalist for The New York Times, Style.com, Architectural Digest, Complex, Bloomberg Pursuits.
Something people would be surprised to learn about you: I started performing in drag when I was 19.
Favorite thing to do outside of work: Be in nature with my partner and puppies.
Your passion: Social justice causes and mental health awareness for anyone identifying as male.
Books on bedside table: Lighter by Young Pueblo, biography of Eleanor Roosevelt, biography of Tom of Finland.
Favorite novel: Anything F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Favorite food to eat: Indian.
Favorite food to cook: Southern.
Favorite cocktail or beverage: Water all day. Orange wine for dinner parties.
Something that you have too much of at home: Diaries and notebooks!
Hobbies: Paddle boarding, traveling and exploring with my puppies all around Charleston.
Secret vice: Godiva chocolate squares.
Favorite musicians: Bjork, Honey Dijon and Deee Lite.
Childhood hero: My great grandfather, Mr. Cator.
Pet peeve: Tardiness.
Philosophy: Be present and be nice.
Your advice for someone new to Charleston: Please don’t act better than us — it’s so plebeian. Give back and say hello in return.
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