Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Reports taken from March 18 to March 20

No price is too great for Booboo
A downtown woman’s 9-year-old dog, Booboo, got its head stuck in an iron gate made by the late renowned blacksmith Philip Simmons on a March 21 walk. Police reported the gate was priceless “due to Mr. Simmons being died.” Rest assured, the gate was cut anyway, and Booboo was freed with little injury. Let’s hope this valuable gate can be repaired.

Nothing says ‘peace and calm’ like Lowe’s
North Charleston police on March 18 escorted an enraged woman to a nearby Lowe’s parking lot to “calm her down” after she was evicted from a local hotel room following a boisterous breakup with her partner. She was arrested for breach of peace, but was transported without further resistance after making it to Lowe’s.

Disappointed but not surprised
Some of our favorite reports to request are those labeled “disorderly conduct” in hopes of some wacky people doing something stupid we can make fun of. This week, however, two of the three Charleston Police Department reports of disorderly conduct (as well as a couple others) we requested were public urination. Stay classy, Charleston.


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