Illustration by Steve Stegelin | Credit: Steve Stegelin

Reports taken from Aug. 5 – Aug. 9

A man dressed as a “Moby Dick sailor” reportedly stole a pack of cigarettes from a Sam Rittenberg Boulevard gas station on Aug. 8. The sailor man was described as very hairy and dirty with a collar-length beard. Guess spinach just isn’t getting the job done anymore, eh Popeye? 

Not the most ambitious

Two North Charleston men reportedly stole two bottles of tequila (one apiece) from a Dorchester Road liquor store on Aug. 5. With dozens of shoplifting reports of individuals taking stacks of merchandise all by themselves, we feel as though these two could have tried a little harder. 

Not so happy birthday

A Charleston woman reported her car was stolen Aug. 7, but she reportedly was less worried about the car, and more worried about what was left inside: two large Yeti coolers ($800), a set of birthday balloons ($40), $200 in cash, a $50 gift card and a lottery ticket with a potential jackpot of more than $200 million. What a rags-to-riches story that would be.

Not a great way to make friends

North Charleston police on Aug. 9 noticed a man standing outside a Rivers Avenue hotel. As officers approached, the man attempted to walk away and avoid officers, according to reports. Due to this, police detained him, ran his ID, and released him after it came back clear. Honestly, we’d probably try and walk away, too. 

Yep, that’s a red flag

A Charleston man told police on Aug. 7 that he was talking to a woman on a dating app — a promising start. After about a week of talking, she told him she had been “making a lot of money on crypto.” There it is. Long story short, he was scammed out of about $11,000. Sounds about like the average crypto experience, to be fair.

An expensive pair of headphones

A North Charleston man reportedly attempted to steal a $15 pair of headphones from a Rivers Avenue department store on Aug. 8, but was spotted on cameras by a police officer who was there at the time. Upon detaining the would-be shoplifter, police found a plastic bag containing 0.3 grams of fentanyl. Yeah, that’ll cost him a bit more than $15.

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