Illustration by Steve Stegelin | Credit: Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Reports taken from Sept. 1 to Sept. 7

Praying for a miracle

Mount Pleasant police on Sept. 7 pulled over a woman near the Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge for driving with an expired license plate. During the stop, police discovered she was also driving without insurance. After being told this, she immediately called an insurance provider website and attempted to insure the vehicle on the spot. No word on how long she was on hold before the officer gave her the ticket. 

Might have worked in 2020

A North Charleston man on Sept. 1 told police he received a call from an alleged “Captain Luke” who said his son was being held in Al Cannon Detention Center and that he needed to send him $2,000 right away. The man reportedly said he would bring the money in cash, but “Captain Luke” said that wouldn’t work “due to Covid.” Good try, captain. 

Desperately in need of a deep clean?

A downtown man on Sept. 3 reportedly broke a $200 display case in a downtown store to steal three $10 bottles of Dove body wash. We aren’t saying people don’t get desperate (especially in this summer heat), but surely they had a bottle or two on a regular shelf somewhere. 

Going to need backup

A Mount Pleasant woman on Sept. 7 reported to Mount Pleasant police that a man was standing in her yard and yelling. When police arrived, she was reportedly agitated with officers because they “took too long to respond” and “there should have been more” officers present. How many officers does it take to ask someone to pipe down?

Implausible deniability

Charleston police on patrol downtown on Sept. 1 watched a man urinate against a wall about five feet from the front door of a Meeting Street business. When they confronted him, he began loudly shouting at police, denying that he had done anything wrong despite the evidence behind him.

Never too old

A downtown woman on Sept. 2 reportedly cracked her head open on the hardwood floor while she and her boyfriend were “play wrestling” in bed after a night at the bar. Guess it’s all fun and games until someone calls the cops. Note: the quotation marks around “play wrestling” also appeared in the official report from Charleston police. 

Expensive camouflage 

A Mount Pleasant department store manager on Sept. 7 asked Mount Pleasant police to cite a man for trespassing after an attempt to shoplift two folding tables and two standing fans. Upon reviewing security footage, police discovered the vehicle that the suspect drove away in was registered to a person who did not match the suspect. With no way to identify him, police said they couldn’t complete a trespass notice. Guess he got the last laugh.

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