Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Reports taken from May 8 to May 17

Check for dents

A North Charleston woman on May 17 told police that the metal chair she usually keeps on her front porch was on the ground in front of her home near Dorchester Road. She was unable to tell police who may have moved it, but she wanted it to be documented. We aren’t ones to speculate, but maybe Triple H just needed to borrow the chair for a minute. Maybe. 

Dude, you almost had him

Mount Pleasant police on May 8 chased down two vehicles apparently street racing on U.S. Highway 17, reaching speeds between 90 mph and 100 mph, according to a report. Both vehicles reportedly stopped for a responding officer, who noted how one driver “made an excited utterance” of “I have never gone that fast on the highway before.” Maybe you should have gone faster. 

Too cool for rules

Charleston police on May 13 arrested a downtown man after receiving reports about a drunk person wearing slippers waving “finger guns” at passersby on Meeting Street. The police report does not say whether the man was also saying, “Aaaye,” as he pointed at folks, but we think that may have helped his case. 

Keep dreaming

Several Mount Pleasant residents on May 8 reported to Mount Pleasant police that they received calls of an inexpensive “home for rent” in which they were asked to begin an application process. Those who looked up the address found an empty lot. A home for rent in Mount Pleasant for any reasonable price? You all should have known that was too good to be true.


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