Reports taken from July 7 to July 13
Classic breakdown
A West Ashley man on July 9 reportedly suffered a “crisis,” during which he drew all over his house with markers, said his girlfriend was in the CIA and a cult and that Jay Z was his father, and called responding officers “alpha males.” Police detained him after he attempted to walk down Rutledge Avenue in the middle of the roadway.
Desperate measures
A North Charleston man on July 13 reportedly opened a Dorchester Road convenience store’s cooler and downed a bottle of Bud Light while an employee watched. According to a police report, the man later went to the counter and paid for a few items, but not the beer. Listen, if you just had beer on the fountain, we wouldn’t have to resort to such desperate measures.
Crazy kids
Four Mount Pleasant kids on July 7 reportedly shot an Orbeez gun at cars driving along Harpers Ferry and Ayers Plantation ways. Police noted in a report that it would be “nearly impossible” to cause any damage. But an officer reportedly counseled the kids on their behavior and called their parents.
A more fun scale
Charleston police on July 7 pulled over a downtown woman for suspected driving under the influence on King Street. Police asked her on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being “obliterated,” how intoxicated did she think she was. We didn’t know the police had a new scale for measuring drunkenness, but we have to say, we approve.
Snarky officers
Mount Pleasant police on July 7 pulled over a Mount Pleasant woman for missing a headlight on her car while she was driving on U.S. Highway 17. The woman threatened to call the police, to which one officer replied, “We are the police,” according to a report.
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