Reports taken from Feb. 21 to March 1
Potluck, anyone?
A Mount Pleasant man on Feb. 21 reportedly stole several packages of raw pork and crab meat from a Johnnie Dodds Boulevard grocery store. Security footage showed the man stuffing the meat into his jacket before fleeing on a bicycle. All right everybody, looks like this is going to be a team effort — this guy forgot sides. We’ll bring the potatoes.
What is he paying you?
A West Ashley man on Feb. 26 told Charleston police his ENT doctor was holding his cat against his will. The man threatened to file a complaint if his cat was not returned, but police later confirmed that in “no way, shape or form” is a cat involved whatsoever, and that the man, in fact, has no medical issues requiring an ENT. Yeah, right, you probably just want the cat for yourselves.
Optimistic thievery
Someone reportedly stole a downtown man’s bike on March 2, according to police reports. The mint-green bike was secured with a (now broken) bike lock and is valued at about $550. We want to take the time to commend the apparent thief’s optimism in the face of Charleston’s incredulous weather over the last couple months. We hope we get some biking weather soon, too.
Not the best strategy
North Charleston EMS on March 2 reportedly treated a man involved in a single-car accident, but he fled the scene before police arrived. The suspect, however, gave his full name and date of birth to EMS, meaning officers will likely be able to find him anyway. Listen, if you’re going to flee the scene of anything — don’t give out your real contact information beforehand.
Better safe than sorry
A Charleston man on March 1 reportedly brandished a pocket knife after getting into an argument with another man outside a Savannah Highway bar. He then dumped the knife in a nearby plant. Despite the man’s incredible efforts to cover his tracks, police found the knife and arrested him for public disorderly conduct.
Pretty cordial, honestly
A downtown man on March 3 “stumbled into the road” and flagged down nearby officers, who immediately noticed the man was drunk, according to a report. After a quick conversation, officers told him he would be charged with public intoxication, to which he replied, “Yeah, I’ll accept that charge.” Yeah, we would hope so, man.
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