Reports taken from March 10 to March 16
False alarm, everyone
Charleston police on March 15 received a call from a concerned citizen regarding an unconscious man laying on the sidewalk on Vendue Range, saying he was “unsure if they’re dead.” The good news: By the time police got there, the man was conscious, and definitely not dead. The bad news: He was drunk enough to be mistaken for dead by passersby, and therefore was arrested for public intoxication.
Like a charm
A Mount Pleasant man on Feb. 26 reportedly used the label from a cucumber to ring up a pack of chicken breasts and a pair of shoes at a U.S. Highway 17 store. Town police were notified on March 10 and put a detective on the case. Ah, the ol’ cucumber switcheroo — nice to know it still works.
He’s just a little shy
A downtown man on March 16 accused a woman of running over his foot as he tried to cross the road at the corner of Ann and Elizabeth streets. Charleston police responded, and asked the man to remove his shoe so they could observe the injury (which would certainly be visible if your foot was squashed between a Mazda and a concrete roadway), but he refused. Thanks for slowing traffic, buddy.
Yeah, that’ll do it
North Charleston police on March 13 arrested a North Charleston man after encountering him drunkenly stumbling down Hassell Avenue. Police gave him several warnings, but the man later began yelling, cursing and threatening the officers’ lives, saying he would “chop them up,” among other threats. Not a great strategy if your goal is to be let off with a warning.
Well said, man
A downtown man on March 14 admitted he shoplifted from a Meeting Street dollar store after police told him he was caught on security footage hiding merchandise under his sweatshirt and setting off alarms when leaving. The man reportedly shrugged, admitted to the crime and said, “You got to do what you got to do sometimes.” Well, sometimes the police “got to” arrest people, too.
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