New book schools couples on fun of improv

The drudgery of daily life — getting ready for work, work, cleaning, cooking, washing and on and on — inspired two seasoned improvisational comics to write a book on ways to break the cycle.

Greg Tavares of Mount Pleasant and Amber Nash of Lilburn, Ga., believe couples find life more rewarding if they occasionally refresh their relationships with playtime. (And no, we don’t necessarily mean anything involving nighttime toys, but that’s OK, too.)

They want people to learn the joys of improvisation for laughing more, enjoying life more.
“Couples often don’t know what to talk about,” they write in Improv for Couples, published in March. “They don’t know what they’re going to do for date night. Heck, most of the time, they don’t even know what they’re going to have for dinner.”

So people make up life as they go along which, when you think about it, really is improv. And intentionally committing improv play frequently can remind people why their partner may be the most fascinating person in the world to them.

“Sometimes, we need time in order to reconnect,” they write. “But you don’t have to wait until you’re sitting side by side at the hotel pool to connect with your partner. Every time you open this book, you can take a mini-vacation.”

More than 20 games in the book

The 27-chapter, 127-page book is packed with suggestions for improvisational games — plus tips on how to be successful with them. There are word games, such as one in which each partner is asked to come up with new names for everyday objects. There are listening games in which you’re supposed to repeat a made-up short story by your partner. There are question and guessing games where you try to figure out noncompetitively what your partner is thinking (good luck with that).

A favorite may be “Yes, and,” in which one partner looks at a nearby object and describes it, and the other partner then takes that statement, says “Yes, and,” followed by a further description as outlined in the book:

Partner 1:  This is a picture of the two of us.

Partner 2:  Yes, and it has a black frame.

Partner 1:  Yes, and the picture is in color.

Partner 2:  Yes, and it’s on the table.

Partner 1:  Yes, and in the picture, we are on the beach.

Partner 2:  Yes, and our dog is with us.

The back-and-forth continues until it gets ridiculous (“Yes, and the dog got bitten by a jellyfish”), or until they run out of stuff to say. Very often the ridiculousness of the whole thing will cause them to crack up even more.

These improvisational activities help to break the sometimes boring cycle of adulting and get you laughing with your partner.

“Adulting is hard,” the authors write. “We have to deal with some pretty serious stuff as adults. That serious stuff weighs heavily on our shoulders. It’s hard to have a good time playing the games in this book when you’re worried about paying the bills or if your kids are going to flunk out of school.”

But investing time in playfulness can pay off, they say.

“You will become more satisfied with your relationship. Couples who play together communicate better, feel like their partner is listening to them and actually look forward to spending time together. Look, we’re not relationship doctors, but both of us have been lucky enough to see these benefits in our own marriages, so we’re kind of experts.”

Writing the book was fun

Tavares, one of the principals at Theatre 99 in Charleston, said writing the book was fun, mainly because he did it with longtime friend Nash, who many may better know as the voice of Pam in the adult cartoon sitcom Archer.

“Amber and I have been friends for a long time but never worked on anything together before,” he said. “As it turned out we are good collaborators. All we ever said was ‘yes’ to each other’s ideas.” (Editor’s note: It’s likely they actually said “Yes, and” to each other’s ideas. Ba dum dum.)
Nash added the experience helped her to get to know Tavares better.

“I’ve known him for 20 years but only one weekend at a time, and mostly on stage, so it was fun to get to work with him more in depth,” she said in an interview. “There aren’t a lot of people that do what we do at the level we do it at and that can be kind of isolating, so, to be able to really dive in with another long time professional improviser is pretty fun.”

For Nash, the book came along at the right time.

“For me, it was an Archer-ended-what-do-I-do-now project and along came Greg.”

For Tavares, 56, the book started as a pandemic project that bloomed from Zoom improv workshops that started when people weren’t meeting much in public.

“I worked with people all over the world — Australia, Thailand, Poland, Hungary — and all across the U.S. Eventually I started doing workshops for couples online. Just me at home and the couple in their home. I started developing games and exercises for that, and the book came out of that experience.”

Tavares says improv makes life more fun because it keeps you playful.

“Cooperative play is unlike anything else when it comes to a bonding experience with other people. I really wanted to share that with non-improv people.

“I guess I want the ideas of improv to take over the world, and I could not think of a better population to spread the ideas to than romantic couples.”

He said he also learned during the process of writing the book with Nash that doing improv at home gives people a sense of permission that it’s OK to laugh more. While the book often prompts couples to laugh as part of the game methodology, it also extends to everyday life.

“Framing laughter as a compliment was a breakthrough for some couples” in the workshops, Tavares said. “People sometimes have an anxiety response when someone laughs after they say or do something. We wanted to encourage people to laugh so they knew it was OK to do it and it was a good thing to be laughed at. Encouraging the couples to laugh actually made them laugh more instead of less, which was enjoyable for them.”

Nash, who says she laughs with her partner a lot in their home, noted she was surprised many couples don’t laugh together that much.

“And while telling someone to laugh at a certain thing is for sure a way to make it not funny, encouraging people to be open to the idea of laughter and playfulness and not feeling awkward letting loose and really losing yourself to laughter opens people up to being vulnerable enough to be free with your partner.”

What’s next? More laughter

“Amber and I have talked about writing Improv for Singles: How to Have the Best Improv Date Night Ever,” Tavares said.

“I also am working on a new solo show.

It’s a real life story about the time I lied about being able to ride a horse to get a part in a TV show.”

Nash said she will continue doing improv shows at Dad’s Garage, an Atlanta theater, and other places.

“It truly is one of the great joys of my life. I am always learning, growing and innovating at Dad’s and that is a gift.”

She’s also launching a podcast in the summer “called ‘RePhrasing: An Archer ReWatch Podcast’ where I sit down with different members of the main cast and we talk about Archer episode-by-episode. It’s super fun.”

Improv for Couples: Fun Games for You and Your Partner is available for $16.99 at Theatre 99, 280 Meeting St., or at amazon.com.