Reports taken from Oct. 7 to Oct. 12
Vigilante in the making

A downtown middle school student on Oct. 7 reportedly refused to take the bus to leave the school at the end of the day. Instead, the student grabbed a bottle of cleaner and sprayed items throughout the school while declining to speak to anyone, according to a Charleston police report. When she eventually left, she took a stapler and ran. Odd choices of gadgets for the utility belt, but we’re generally supportive of up-and-coming vigilantes.
Another one?
Mount Pleasant police on Oct. 12 met with a man who made vague “threats” about the police department, saying, “Things are going to change tomorrow,” according to a report. Seeing as nothing actually happened, we can only speculate that this was the third (fourth?) attempt to reschedule the still-pending rapture. Scheduling conflicts are a pain.
Strong stuff
Charleston police on Oct. 9 stopped to talk with an apparently drunken man stumbling with a 12 oz Bud Light in his hand near a Mary Street parking garage . Police had him pour out the drink and told him he needed to get a ride home. Later, officers found him again, this time with two more cans of Bud Light. He was arrested that time.
Stocking stuffers
A North Charleston man on Oct. 10 reportedly filled a shopping basket with different deodorants and bottles of body wash at a Rivers Avenue store before leaving the building without paying. The investigation is ongoing. Either this is the stinkiest suspect we’ve had in a while, or he’s gearing up for those Christmas stockings a little early this year.
Date night
A downtown man on Oct. 10 reportedly stole a bottle of wine, a chicken and a pair of sunglasses from a Westedge grocery store. After leaving the store, security footage recorded the man heading toward a nearby hotel — no doubt to start prep on a fancy meal he promised that special someone. No arrest yet, but our advice: Next time, leave the sunglasses and spring for the fish.



