A beautiful and page-turning exploration occurs in Joshua Garcia’s debut poetry collection, Pentimento, released just last month. In Pentimento, Garcia, a recent graduate of the College of Charleston’s masters program in creative writing, takes us on a transformative journey of self-discovery and acceptance, weaving together themes of queerness, faith, chronic pain and mental health into a tapestry of profound introspection.
In an interview with the Charleston City Paper, Garcia mused on the religious trauma that informs this work, “What is my place in the church as a queer person? If God loves me, why does the church bring me so much pain? Am I worthy of love? Is God real? These were the questions that kept me up at night, and when I started writing about them, the book began to take shape…
“I wrote the book to answer these questions for myself — questions with answers that had tangible consequences for how I would live my life and, sometimes [questioning] if I even wanted to live it.”
Shedding light on religious trauma in the South
Religious trauma is nothing new to queer communities in the South. The intersection of sexuality and spirituality can be especially difficult in areas where societal and religious norms are deeply ingrained. Garcia’s work is a testament to the depth of sensitivity and understanding required to navigate this issue in such a complex environment.
Garcia’s exploration of queerness within the context of faith and chronic pain serves as a central theme throughout his collection, offering a nuanced examination of the tensions that arise when navigating these intersections.
Rooted in the Italian word meaning “to repent,” Pentimento invites readers to explore the layers of the self—both seen and unseen—and to confront the traces of earlier decisions and beliefs that linger beneath the surface.
As Garcia delved into his creative process and themes that underpin Pentimento, he explained writing this collection of poetry was a way to move forward from the faith he once identified with.
“The book itself is about queerness and faith, among other things, and how these two do or don’t align. When I started writing the poems, I was a devout Christian, but by the time I finished the collection, I no longer identified with that faith. So in the process of writing the collection, there was revision taking place in my life and mind, in the way that I understood and moved through the world.”
This reflection highlights the evolution of Garcia’s identity and beliefs, mirrored in the layers of his poetry. The tension between past and present selves, between faith and queerness, permeates the collection.
Introspection through self-portraiture
Throughout Pentimento, Garcia frequently employs self-portraiture as a thematic element, offering a curated glimpse into his inner world. He elaborated on the significance of this artistic choice, saying, “Through these self-portraits, I’m showing off my scars, saying, Look, I’m still standing. In this way, those self-portraits are also a kind of pentimento.”
This not only emphasizes the depth of Garcia’s introspection but also serves as an inspiring example of resilience. Despite the difficulties he may have encountered in balancing his identity with faith, Garcia finds strength in his capacity to address his past and present selves via his art, ultimately validating his path to self-discovery and acceptance.
The collection of poems in Pentimento explore a variety of emotions and experiences, which collectively contribute to the themes of self-exploration and reconciliation. Titles such as “Two Figures,” “Self-Portrait as a Virgin,” “Faggot,” and “Pumping Gas at a Shell Station on National Coming Out Day,” which appeared in Charleston City Paper’s 2019 Literary Issue, evoke thought-provoking insights into queer identity, the role of faith and pain, and the need to belong.
Garcia’s background as a poet is as impressive as his first collection: His poetry has appeared in esteemed literary journals such as Ecotone, The Georgia Review, Passages North, and Ploughshares. Garcia has been recognized with a Stadler Fellowship from Bucknell University and an Emerge—Surface—Be Fellowship from The Poetry Project.
As Garcia looked ahead to future projects, including a manuscript inspired by Puccini’s opera Turandot, his readers should expect more explorations of love, desire and intimacy.
Pentimento is a striking debut by a poet whose voice deserves to be heard. Garcia’s poetry highlights not only the necessity of self-discovery and acceptance but also the critical role that growth and reconciliation with our past experiences play in our individual journeys.
Garcia said his hope is that readers receive his collection as a “gift of confidence to find some kindness toward themselves… [to] recognize their power and make something beautiful with it.”
Joshua Garcia is the author of Pentimento (Black Lawrence Press 2024). $17.95, paperback. He lives and writes in Brooklyn, New York.
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