1. Clean up after yourself without bitching.

2. Do one of her chores for her before she gets home from work.

3. Have flowers sitting on the coffee table in the den, blocking your view of the television (all women are sadists at heart).

4. Hire a babysitter to take the kids out of the house, to a movie or the park, just OUT.

5. Shave.

6. Hack into her Blackberry and find the 15 minutes she’s available this month.

7. Make her a cup of hot tea.

8. Offer to massage her feet in exchange for a foot rub for yourself, then “forget” your turn.

9. Make the bed, having already changed the sheets.

10. Talk loudly from the kitchen, where you’re making dinner, about how much you hated Dr. Zhivago because he cheated on his wife, despite the fact that sometimes moments in history are more powerful than the individuals involved in them.

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