The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

On March 20, a police dog went ape-shit during a drug search of a Chevy minivan parked near the intersection of Hanover and Line streets. Three grams of crack were found in a matchbox stuffed inside the opening of the minivan’s gas tank. So that’s what fuels the Heartbeat of America.

A woman riding with her “baby daddy” in his car through the Ashleyville neighborhood on March 20 told him that she didn’t want him to hit her anymore and threatened to call the police on him. He immediately stopped the car and began to throw her things on the side of the road. Once she got out of the car, he drove off, yelling, “Police-calling motherfucker!” Well, at least he didn’t take that badly.

On March 19, a Sam Ritt department store employee noticed a man wandering around the store, pocketing items. He took two Winchester pocket knives, an Eddie Bauer pocket knife, and several CDs and DVDs. He also removed a pillowcase from its packaging. When approached by security, the man said he intended to use the pillowcase to keep CDs from falling out of the cart.

Around last call on March 18, a large and festive crowd gathered around a downtown hot dog stand, impeding pedestrian traffic. When officers asked one man to move, he was noncompliant and rude and remained in the same spot, saying, “Well, let’s just talk about how much I’m blocking traffic.” (“Our beat-down has a first name, it’s O-f-f-i-c-e-r …”)

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